No Strings Attached

Write down the things that someone has given you, no strings attached, for which you are grateful. It can be an old sofa, some sound advice, or a lift to the airport. Now list ten things that you would like to give someone yourself, and see how many of those things you can cross off in a week.

Examples:

*Drive a friend to the airport

*Carry groceries for an elder to their car

*Babysit for a relative

*Buy a friend a cup of coffee

*Volunteer at a soup kitchen

Good Night, Moon, Good Morning, Sunshine!

    I have to agree with the lovely people of the Pajama Program (pajamaprogram.org) that the sweeter side of life comes from warm, snuggly PJ’s so I love their mission- to provide pajamas and a book of bedtime stories to children who need them. Need I say more?

Helping Those Who Want to Help Themselves

    We all remember the Biblical parable about teaching a man to fish so he can provide for himself and his family. Two thousand years later, we can do exactly this. My dad taught me how to fish in a pond back home on the farm in West Virginia. Even as a seven-year-old, I noticed that we not only got a couple of day’s worth of yummy trout for our efforts but my papa, a former Marine with many battle scars, seemed to relax after an afternoon at the pond. You can gift a $49 fishing kit in a loved one’s name or set up a recurring monthly donation at Action Against Hunger ( ActionAgainstHunger.org), which feeds over 7 million people each year. Go fish!

Give Away Your Old Stuff

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: we all have too much stuff. Do a favor for people in need and give away some of the things you no longer use or wear. Others would be happy to have them and you will simplify your life and enjoy your time more. Find a few locations that you can drop off your stuff or call an organization that collects goods to redistribute to those in need. There are Goodwills and Salvation Army centers in every town, large or small, so you can donate to help others.

Emit Good Vibes

    Take stock of your day-to-day life. Are you giving to others or is there an imbalance? Do your work and your immediate family get 99% of what you offer the world? You can change that in one day. Donate more of your time or money to a charity. Supporting a cause will help keep you informed about social issues and can strengthen your sense of well being, while benefiting others in the process. Additionally, monetary donations are tax deductible, which is really just a bonus: the real reward is not just on April 15 but comes the other 364 days of the year.

Fighting Illiteracy One Book at a Time

    I keep seeing these charming itty bitty libraries in my neighborhood, where you can take a book or give one in return. Some are plain serviceable boxes somewhat like a birdhouse for books and some are very ornate, not unlike something you might find in the upscale section of the Shire. The organization Little Free Library (LittleFreeLibrary.org) describes their mission this way: 

    It’s a “take a book, return a book” gathering place where neighbors share their favorite literature and stories. In its most basic form, a Little Free Library is a box full of books where anyone may stop by and pick up a book (or two) and bring back another book to share. You can, too!

Knitting the World Back Together with a Lot of Love

    Volunteer was never a word in her vocabulary. Not that Lee Grant didn’t know what it meant, but it wasn’t something she would ever think about doing. Feeling unloved as a child left her self-centred, angry, and needy. As far as Lee was concerned, the world owed her. But it was hard to get to know the world, as small as hers was. Sheltered and sequestered in a small coastal community in rural New England, she knew little about the daily lives of regular people with regular families, but enough to know that hers wasn’t like theirs. “Bad things happened in my house,” she said, “and I never understood why, because I was afraid to ask.” 

    Throughout her teen and young adult years, Lee used drugs and alcohol to transport herself, begging attention from anyone and everyone. Chemicals seemed to work in the short haul, but eventually they led to more destructive behaviors: setting fires, shoplifting, drunk driving, punching through plate glass windows. Cutting helped drain her pent up self-loathing and relieved her. Sutures and butterfly bandages briefly put her back together, but after so many years and so many scars, self-mutilation wasn’t working. After three weeks in an institution for attempted suicide, she was ready to try something different. 

    One day, out of the blue, Lee was invited into a knit shop filled with happy, loving people and found a passion and joy she never knew before. “I made things with my hands and felt good about myself. I entered an afghan in the county fair and won a blue ribbon. I joined AA and stopped drinking. I found a community of creative people who accepted me and my knitting and that, along with sober living, brought the attention I craved. But still...something was missing,”she said. She noticed she felt best when she shared her knowledge of knitting and making other people happy brought a new kind of satisfaction.

    On a whim, Lee volunteered to teach knitting classes to kids for the local Santa Rosa chapter of Catholic Charities (CatholicCharities.org). She wanted to find out if knitting would make a difference to them like it did for her. She wanted to give them something they could turn to when life got too scary, or complicated, or boring...something they could turn to for comfort or fun. She gave them sticks and string and direction. She gave them an opportunity to feel accomplished and proud. She gave them a piece of herself and found out what she’d been missing. 

    Lee began to care about other people. “I taught families at a homeless shelter to knit. I taught a group of foster teens. I crocheted for battered women and premature babies. I knitted warm hats for cold-headed cancer patients I would never get to know. 

    “All of this giving changes me. I feel good inside. No longer hollow and self-centered, I feel something akin to love. For others. For myself. For who I am. For what I do.” Lee is not just any knitter; she is tremendously gifted and tremendously generous. She is the author of several books, including Love in Every Stitch, and is a sought-after pattern designer. Go to her Facebook page, “Knitting and Healing With Lee Grant,” or you can find her at a shelter with a lot of bright, beautiful skeins of yarn and a bunch of happy kids, doing what she does best. 

    I asked Lee to sum up how it was that she came to “be a good in the world.” 

    “I blame it on volunteering,” she said.

How to Have an Attitude of Gratitude

1. Be grateful and recognize the things others have done to help you.
2. When you say, “Thank you,” to someone, it signals what you appreciate and why you appreciate it.
3. Post a “Thank you to all” on your Facebook page on your blog, or send individual emails to friends, family, or colleagues.
4. Send a handwritten thank-you note. These are noteworthy because so few of us take time to write and mail them.
5. Think thoughts of gratitude-two or three good things that happened today-and notice calm settle through your head, at least for a moment. It activates a part of the brain that floods the body with endorphins, or feel-good hormones.
6. Remember the ways your life has been made easier or better because of others’ efforts. Be aware of and acknowledge the good things, large and small, going on around you.
7. Keep a gratitude journal to list the people or things you’re grateful for today. The list may start out short, but it will grow as you notice more of the good things around you.
8. Being grateful shakes you out of self-absorption and helps you recognize those who’ve done wonderful things for you. Expressing that gratitude continues to draw those people into your sphere.
9. Remember this thought from Maya Angelou: “When you learn, teach; when you get, give.”
10. Join forces to do good. If you have survived illness or loss, you may want to reach out to others to help as a way of showing gratitude for those who reached out to you.

Rescued Treasure

    At the El Cerrito Recycling Center, they have a lively reuse center where you can donate things that are still viable for others. I have seen amazing donations like washers and dryers being hauled away by a family who could not otherwise afforded a set. My favorite moment there was the time a donated sitar’s new owner gave a free concert to all us recyclers.

Go the Extra Mile

We have all needed help now and again, and maybe somebody spent time they didn’t have in order to help us out. Return the favor and be that person who is prepared to walk an extra mile (maybe in Toms shoes!).

Giving Benefits the Giver, Too!

    Find joy in giving. “Altruism boosts immune function, improves our moods, and is linked, not only to a higher quality of life, but a longer one,” according to Stephen Post, at Stony Brook University. Those who help others also experience a “helper’s high” when their bodies are flooded with feel good endorphins and other natural chemicals. It’s pretty basic: when we do good, we feel good.

Tithing

    I witnessed my mother tithe at church when I was a child and noted she did so with pride. I was also not unaware that she “did without” and forewent buying herself new purses or clothes. She was able to take care of my sisters and me while regularly giving her little bit of extra pocket money to the church. I learned about self-sacrifice and also about living from your values from her selfless actions. 

    Experiment with tithing. There is a universal law of tenfold return. This means that when you give freely, your return is tenfold. Particularly in terms of money, many of us think the law of attraction doesn’t apply. It does. Money is simple energy, and when you allow the energy of abundance to flow through you, then money and other resources continue to flow to you. When you stop the flow of abundance out of fear, anxiety, and worry, the flow of money stops. 

    During the next six months, experiment. Whenever you get money, before you pay any bill, take ten percent and give it to something you believe in. What is most important is that you give with an open heart.

#Helpful

    Are you software-savvy? Sign up to teach older adults computer and technology skills through SeniorNet (seniornet.org). Helping our elderly with tech skills is so rewarding. I have seen grandmothers go from never having emailed before to loving the world wide web and contributing their own wisdom, one tweet at a time.

Be an Anonymous Gifter

    Have you ever heard of the Bolinas Free Box? This institution began 30 years ago by accident. As the story goes, a young couple was departing the shores of Bolinas, California, and dumped some boxes of extra belongings behind at the community center as they left. The rather nice assortment of clothes, books, and household utensils drew some interested residents to have a look. By the end of the day, several other people had brought free stuff down to share. The Free Box took up residence in a shed between the health food store and the community center and has been providing all comers with all kinds of free fare ever since. The era of the free box was born.

Games That Give

    Even online games can be philanthropic- try out Games That Give, at gamesthatgive.net/play. This website donates approximately 70% of their advertising revenue to charitable causes. Everyone wins here.

Spread Kindness without Care

Start a chain of kindness around you. 

Buy your copy of "Random Acts of Kindness" by Brenda Knight and Becca Anderson now on mango.bz: https://mango.bz/books/random-acts-of-kindness-1484-b 

Participate in the Gift Economy

    Free markets are one of the ways that people have figured out how to cooperate when finances are uncertain. It is one of my absolute favorite examples of a gift economy, where people come together with items to give away or share. The Really Really Free Market (reallyreallyfree.org) is a great prototype. No money exchanges hands. Participants simply bring their offerings and display them communally, but also social distancing, of course.

    People also bring their expertise and talents to share: lawyers, musicians, jugglers, gardeners, ecologists, hairdressers, tarot readers, and cookie bakers are all there enjoying this unique marketplace. It provides as much diversity as the market economy, and for free!

    The Really Really Free Market website lists 34 regular free markets happening in states across the US and another ten or so worldwide in places like Pertgh, Australia. Your city could be next.

No Strings Attached

    Write down the things that someone has given you, no strings attached, for which you are grateful. It can be an old sofa, some sound advice, a spare mask or hand sanitizer, or a lift to the airport. Now list ten things you would like to give someone yourself, and see how many of those things you can cross off a week. 

    Examples:

    *Drive a friend to the airport

    *Carry groceries for an elder to their car

    *Babysit for a relative

    *Buy a friend a cup of coffee

    *Volunteer at a soup kitchen or covid clinic

Practice Random Acts of Kindness (and Deliberate Ones, Too)

     Random Acts of Kindness Day is always the week of Valentine's Day. I love to hear how this meaningful movement has touched others' lives. Artist and author Peg Conley shares her thoughts:

    You've seen those bumper stickers, the ones encouraging you to commit "random acts of kindness?" What they can't tell you in that little space is how performing those acts can be a way of transforming yourself. When you begin to focus on extending kindness towards others, you'll feel more kindness coming towards you. Not only will you make someone else's day better, you'll be surprised how well yours improves. It's rather like the "Secret Santa" gift exchange that many offices and families adopt during the weeks leading up to Christmas. There is delight when you do something for another while keeping your identity a secret. When you watch a person receiving a surprise gift, you see their face change, the eyes open wide with delight, a smile bursting into a grin, and laughter erupting. They appear to feel sheer joy at the unexpected. The old adage is true: "It is giving that we receive." The other part of the quote, which is by a San Franciscan writer named Anne Herbert, is often left out: "and (practice) senseless acts of beauty." I received a text the other day from a friend who had taken a picture with her phone of a sidewalk outside a coffee shop where she works in San Francisco. Someone had written "It's a beautiful day" with colored chalk on the sidewalk and adorned it with butterflies and hearts. That,, to me, is a senseless act of beauty. Think how many people walked on that sidewalk that day and smiled at the childish scrawl reminding them on the beautiful day.

    The Hebrew word mitzvah means a good deed or an act of kindness. Judaism teaches that the world is built on kindness. I recall what my Bubbe, a dear friend in Salt Lake City who was my son's first caregiver, used to tell me about the importance of doing mitzvahs. She believes in the power of doing good for another person but telling them about it. She is a perfect example of someone who practices random acts of kindness, and also one who sees and acknowledges the beauty in everyone she meets. I always feel better just by being in her presence. Entire campaigns focused on practicing random acts of kindness have sprouted up. This, along with "having an attitude of gratitude," enriches my days in many ways. There are myriad ways you can practice random acts of kindness. Don't forget to include yourself when you are doing them!