Optimism Trumps Pessimism: Stay Optimistic

It is true that we have seen senseless acts of violence in the last week but don't let it change your outlook on the world. There are millions of good people and you are one of them. 

Choose optimism and you have chosen happiness. This is your life, only you can truly control your choices, and choosing happiness is the best way to achieve being the best YOU you can be. Here are some suggestions for how you can ensure happiness in your life:

·  Be the best you can be by your own standards

·  Surround yourself with people who inspire you and make you feel good

·  Focus on what you have, not what you lack

·  Optimism trumps pessimism

·  Smile often and genuinely

·  Be honest, to yourself and to others

·  Help others

·  Embrace your past, live in the present, and look forward for what is yet to come

Difficult People Are the Ones We Learn the Most From

I love the old-fashioned ideas of virtues such as kindness, generosity a LOT.

I am determined to develop my patience muscle so it gets stronger all the time. Here is a big one for me; to learn to have patience with difficult people. (And realize I may be one, myself and not know it!)  This is not only a good deed for the person you are exhibiting patience towards, but it is also a good deed for yourself! Imagine that, a good deed for yourself! For example, when someone is purposely trying to push your buttons by doing something or saying something rude, you can choose to act with patience and understanding instead of anger. This will benefit you by keeping your blood pressure low and your stress levels low as well – which we know are two health issues that many people are suffering from today. My wise woman friend BJ Gallagher says, “Difficult people are the ones we learn the most from.”

Eco Acts of Kindness

We have all been hearing and reading about the plastic fish and birds are eating; therefore, we are, too.  What can you do about it? A lot!

 

 Keep a compact reusable bag in your purse for those spur-of-the-moment purchases. Refuse a plastic bag for five items or less. Fit purchases from different stores into the same bag wherever possible. There’s no reason to have eight shopping bags with only one item in each.

Put your cloth bags back in your car as soon as you’re done unloading groceries. There’s less chance of forgetting them at home that way (and you’ll be one step closer to using them!). Keep them on the front seat, rather than in the trunk. If you see them, you’ll be far less likely to forget them. I am not embarrassed at all about being a bag lady. I urge you to embrace your inner bag lady or bag man and practice eco acts of kindness. 

Spooky Acts of Kindness: Happy Halloween

 Bowl of candy? Check. Costume on? Check. Pumpkins carved? Check. 

We are approaching All Hallow’s Eve and what better day to dress up, go out, and overindulge on sugary sweets? However, take a few precautions before venturing out:

·  If you have kids, don’t let them trick-or-treat without supervision

·  Don’t let your child eat candy that doesn’t come in a wrapper

·  Hold a flashlight when outside so drivers can see you

·  But Halloween doesn’t have to be all about the sugar rush and crazy costumes. It can also be a very charitable day:

·       Make cards of kindness

·       Some children are too ill to go out trick or treating. Make homemade Halloween cards for hospitalized children with life-threatening illnesses and mail to either Love Letters: Random Cards of Kindness or Hugs and Hope.2
·       Send candy to the troops
·       Many dental offices participate in post-Halloween candy buybacks. Donated sweets are sent to organizations such as Operation Gratitude or Operation Shoebox. Both organizations include the candy in care packages for U.S. soldiers in harm's way. Find a participating dental office near you or get information to start your own collection.

Every Day Should Be Forgiveness Day

If you have born a grudge for someone, forgive them or let it go.

You don’t need that negative energy in your life. Remember that forgiveness is not absolution; what happened in the past still happened but what you are doing is relieving yourself of the burden that has been weighing you down. Now you can heal. Our society is also in need of lessons in forgiveness and a dramatic reminder of this can be found in the film and foundation behind www.unlikelyfriendsforgive.com where we learn the real power of atonement and the art of forgiving, even after brutal acts of violence.

Be Open to the Possible

Start chatting it up and you never know what could happen. Prepare to be amazed!

 

My boyfriend has that magic ability to talk to anyone; 99% of the time, he has made a new friend, too. It is fun to watch him in action and he is definitely somebody you want to bring to parties and social occasions.  Be open to conversing with new people and becoming friendly with them. If you’re at a bookstore and see someone holding a book you like or are interested in, strike up a conversation and ask them about it. You may make a new friend or find out that they’re in the same business as you. You can network yourself and make connections at any time. Many people keep to themselves when out and about, either playing on their cellphones or avoiding eye contact with others, but this closes you off from being a productive individual. Being open to the possibility of a new friendship or work relationship helps share your ideas with others and creates more opportunities for you. In line at the Pacific Café in San Francisco on Geary Street, we met a woman’s whose cousin from Mainland China was being held in immigration detention for not having the proper paperwork and my boyfriend who is fluent in Cantonese was able to offer vital information to this family. You never know when YOU might need the help of a total stranger!

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Find the Joy in Giving

Have you noticed how good it feels after an act of kindness?

Find joy in giving.“Altruism boosts immune function, improves our moods, and is linked, not only to a higher quality of life, but a longer one,” according to Stephen Post, at Stony Brook University. Those who help others also experience a “helpers high” when their bodies are flooded with feel good endorphins and other natural chemicals. It’s pretty basic: When we do good, we feel good.

Adopt A Classroom: Acts of Kindness

Teaching others is hard work and can be a thankless job. Teachers are very important. 

Whether you are a student or have kids in school, approach your/their teacher and tell them what a great job they are doing.  Adopt A Classroom goes to the head of the class in my book for the good work they do: AdoptAClassroom.org gives teachers a hand by providing needed classroom materials so that students can succeed.

It is estimated that more than 15 million children don’t have the resources they need to succeed in school and that teachers spend more than $1 billion a year stocking their own classrooms due to a lack of funding in schools. Supporting K-12th grade students, including public, private, and charter school classrooms, AdoptAClassroom.org makes it easy for donors to provide funding and support to classrooms throughout America. Teachers register their classrooms and needs online; donors discover classrooms through simple search tools, and make targeted contributions.   Their goal is to connect donors with every classroom in the country. A plus!

We Are Here to Love 24/7

What the World Needs Now

 

Tell someone you close to you how much you love them, even if you’re sure they already know. Do it often. xo

Give Life: Practical Acts of Kindness

Donate blood. One donation can help up to four people. 

If that’s not inspiring enough, every three seconds, someone needs a blood transfusion due to various injuries, illnesses, or conditions. Donating is completely free and completely safe. (http://www.bloodcenters.org/) Go to the American Red Cross website (http://www.redcrossblood.org/make-donation) to find a location near you. And you usually get cookies and juice after your donation! Did you know this?

Did you know T\the Red Cross can use more than your blood? Cjheck it out!

For some people, health, time, and logistical restraints means donating blood isn’t possible. But blood donation isn’t the only way to support organizations like the Red Cress. As well as financial donations, the Red Cross also accepts airline miles and credit card rewards. Easily transferable from your computer, these sorts of donations don’t cost anything but can still make a difference.

Empower A Woman Across the Globe

Empower an entrepreneur with a loan through Kiva. This is truly a way to be a good in the world and help women make a living for themselves and their family. 

You can give as little at $25 dollars to entrepreneurs in developing countries to help eliminate poverty. Throughout the life of the loan, you will receive updates on the progress of the project and will be repaid by the borrower with Kiva Credit—which you can use to fund another project or withdraw. http://www.kiva.org/ I have bought some really lovely pillows baskets and bangle bracelets made in India by women whose creativity was sent soaring by Kiva!

Conscious Acts of Kindness

When I lived in the Panhandle District, I would occasionally wonder to myself from whence the name came. It is actually a skinny strip of land at the end of San Francisco’s spectacular Golden Gate Park, like a handle on a skillet or big pan.

 But with so many down and out, there is a good bit of panhandling, the verb- asking for money. In fact, it sometimes seems overwhelming, especially when on any given day, I might be hit up over a dozen times.  I noticed that after 9/11, it became especially grim, as there was a scary economic downturn that accompanied all the other chaos. So, I developed a system of my own and I always kept change in the little pocket of my driver’s side door handle to be ready for when I was driving.  Here is my system and I just did it today: moms with kids, children, and amputee’s, anyone who really seems to me to need help now.  If I am driving an author around on tour or out-of-town visitors, they have, on occasion, been startled when I mutter,” Oh, an amputee; let me see what I have on me. “ I explain my seeming rudeness by saying this is my personalized system and that I was almost an amputee when I was hit and run by a drunk driver a few years back and managed to talk my doctor out of that idea.  I had to learn to walk again and it took a looong time and a lot of pain. So, I always think, “that could have been me” and I want to help.   Many a vet who served their country came back without a limb and even fewer options.  This really is the least I can do and wanting to do more is one of the reasons behind my book, Be a Good in the World. 

Have You Taken the Pledge?

Join the 1 million+  people who've taken the It Gets Better Pledge

Have you taken the THE PLEDGE?  Everyone deserves to be respected for who they are. I pledge to spread this message to my friends, family and neighbors. I'll speak up against hate and intolerance whenever I see it, at school and at work. I'll provide hope for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and other bullied teens by letting them know that it gets better. It Is getting better, thanks to people like you:Sign on up at www.itgetsbetter.org and support LGBTQ children and teens live a bully-free life!

Scatter Joy In Your Wake

Lately, so many of us are in a negative head space. So much bad news. What to do?

Think about how you can create little moments of happiness for others. Helping a friend plant her garden, buying an extra coffee for your coworker, paying the toll for the car behind you on the bridge, even taking your kids to a movie.  All those little things can add up to BIG joy

Gifts That Give Back: The Feed Project

Now that October is here, are you thinking of making a holiday shopping list?

My favorite kinds of gifts are the ones who keep on giving. The FEED project has many cool options that are made-in-America and crafted with love and pride.  By presenting a beautifully carved wooden cutting board for your best friend’s birthday from www.FeedProjects.com, that gift will help feed the hungry.  I love their FEEDbags, which are a handy way to ditch the plastic and the paper, too.

Listen With Love: Veteran's History Project

We all have stories and it is important to make sure they are told and heard. 

 

My dad loved to tell his stories of being in World War II and he did have many dramatic tales, especially of having saved lives and delivering a Japanese POW’s letter to his parents in Tokyo, a major act of kindness involving much risk. I really wish I had recorded these but I carry dad’s stories and share them his honor. Our elders, in particular, have much to share and life lessons we could all learn from. The Library of Congress is gathering these by sending out volunteers to video record in the Veteran’s History Project, loc.gov.vets. To me, one of the most special aspects of this oral history project is that it is not only the “Greatest Generation,” but also even young people coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan whose stories are equally precious and just as important. I think we are learning that every generation has true greatness.

Thinking With Your Heart: Volunteer!

When I lived in the Lower Height district of San Francisco, I drove for an AIDS food bank in my rusted-out little car had driven across the country from West Virginia.

I had arrived in the mid-eighties, which we may all remember as the height of the AIDS crisis. My best friend delivered meals to patients in their homes and I gave rides and also hauled groceries donated to the food bank by the Church Street Tunnel. One early morning, I was walking to the Market and Church Street MUNI station and there it was with giant pink letters announcing itself as a place to lend a hand for the AIDS cause. I went in and within two minutes had a shift and assignments for the week.  Plus everyone in there seems extremely cool to me and they were not grim at all but seemed to have a mission of importance.  It seemed such a small way to help during that scary time but I also learned that whatever you can give, large or small, it is important to give of yourself. And it all does add up. Feeding America is the LARGEST hunger relief organization the United States and they need YOU. Please visit www.feedingamerica.org to find your local food bank or hunger organization. Get involved and you’ll make a difference and you’ll make friends along the way. I sure did and they remain my friends to this day.

Help Girls Score: Support the Women In Sports Foundation

Started in 1987,  the Women in Sports Foundation brings attention to the positive influence that sports participation has and how it advances equality. 

The Women’s Sports Foundation encourages moms to get more involved with their daughters’ sports. Their Website, at www.womenssportsfoundation.org, gives lots of advice on how to get involved, prevent discrimination, and increase participation, along with information on coaching issues, clinics, funding, and more. Sports can be a huge help with young girls’ self-confidence with skill, determination and inner success, a confidence that can carry through into her later years; it is said that if you succeed in sports, you lead in life.

What Did You Say Yes to Today?

I (re) learned this truly vital lesson from Imperfect Spirituality blogger and author Polly Campbell: Once today say “yes” to something unexpected that comes into your life.

Know that you are enough to handle whatever emerges from the yes. Know that you have the whole Universe supporting you. Believe that you will have a good time and learn something that you need to know. Exercise your faith by taking the Universe up on the good things that come your way and practice your optimism by believing that there is more to come. Just. Say. Yes. Then take two minutes to reflect and answer these questions for yourself:

What did you say “yes” to today?

Were you inclined to first say “no”? Why?

How did you feel when you said “yes”?

What did you learn about yourself by saying “yes” to this thing?

What do you know now that you didn’t know before you took the leap?