Let’s Make it a Complaint-Free World

    Go one day without complaining. Even better, go a week. If this is hard for you to accomplish, it’s time to make some changes in your life. Think positively, live in the present, and appreciate where you are and who you are. Today is a gift, so accept and embrace it. 

    Author Mark Bowen wrote a fantastic book on this very topic that I turn to when I need a reminder, as we all do now and again. My copy came with a bracelet, a simple way to monitor how often you complain that helps you track your progress toward becoming “complaint-free”. Put on the bracelet and every time you complain, switch it to the other wrist. The goal is to go 21 consecutive days without switching the bracelet. It is harder than you might think and I was a bit shocked at what a complainer I turned out to be. It was a really good exercise for me- I highly recommend it. I benefited enormously and I suspect those around me did, too!

Do YOU

    This is your life! Only you can truly control your choices. Choosing happiness is the best way to achieve being good to yourself as well as the world. Here are some suggestions for how you can ensure simple joy in your life:

*Be the best you can be by your own standards

*Surround yourself with people who inspire you and make you feel good

*Focus on what you have, not what you lack

*Optimism trumps pessimism every time!

*Smile often and genuinely

*Be honest, to yourself and others

*Help others

*Embrace your past, live in the present, and look forward for what is yet to come

How to Have an Attitude of Gratitude

1. Be grateful and recognize the things others have done to help you.
2. When you say, “Thank you,” to someone, it signals what you appreciate and why you appreciate it.
3. Post a “Thank you to all” on your Facebook page on your blog, or send individual emails to friends, family, or colleagues.
4. Send a handwritten thank-you note. These are noteworthy because so few of us take time to write and mail them.
5. Think thoughts of gratitude-two or three good things that happened today-and notice calm settle through your head, at least for a moment. It activates a part of the brain that floods the body with endorphins, or feel-good hormones.
6. Remember the ways your life has been made easier or better because of others’ efforts. Be aware of and acknowledge the good things, large and small, going on around you.
7. Keep a gratitude journal to list the people or things you’re grateful for today. The list may start out short, but it will grow as you notice more of the good things around you.
8. Being grateful shakes you out of self-absorption and helps you recognize those who’ve done wonderful things for you. Expressing that gratitude continues to draw those people into your sphere.
9. Remember this thought from Maya Angelou: “When you learn, teach; when you get, give.”
10. Join forces to do good. If you have survived illness or loss, you may want to reach out to others to help as a way of showing gratitude for those who reached out to you.

Look at Everything in a New Way

    Simply reframe your perception: each of us has had dreams that for one reason or another, we do not achieve. And we may have made choices that perhaps were not the best. Yet, rather than allowing regret to overtake us, we must celebrate all the other goals we’ve accomplished and positive choices we’ve made. 

    Human nature so often leads us to perceive the one negative in a sea of positives. But we can retrain ourselves to learn the lessons embedded in our mistakes, and allow ourselves to feel pride in the beauty we are capable of. All it takes is a little shift. You’ll see.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

    As we enter October, national Breast Cancer Awareness Month, be sure to schedule an appointment with your doctor to have an exam. Men need to remind their doctors, as well, as this is not just a women’s issue. Remind your close friends to do the same and schedule appointments for the same time so you can go together and give moral support. It is important for us to be educated about all forms of cancer and to take the necessary steps to stay healthy. Visit breastcancer.org to answer and questions you may have. 

    I am a breast cancer survivor and deeply grateful. I remember getting the diagnosis and just going completely numb. I was like a zombie going through the motions of my life, getting up and going to work, cooking dinner, trying to focus but all I could think was “I have cancer.” My friends and family helped me through it all. I also had a genius doctor who got me and understood that it would be a physical, emotional and spiritual journey. She was open to discussions about all that. I am lucky in so many ways, being free and clear for over a decade now. I bonded with my female physician, who asked me to stay involved in her practice as a counselor for the newly diagnosed. Each time I work with someone who has just found out they have cancer, I offer my story and all the success stories I have witnessed, while listening to their fears, dishing out lots of hugs, and helping them in any way I can. This is one of the best things I do with my life-using my wisdom to help another.

Slow Down

    Take it easier. There is a lot of hustle and bustle in this world, and it’s easy to miss the simple joys of life if you are always in a hurry. Alter your perspective a bit and take your time. When grocery shopping, instead of rushing through your list, walk down every aisle, notice all the colorful fruits and vegetables, enjoy the errand, and be grateful that you can afford to buy groceries. 

    Here is when you know you are going too fast: when you forget to be nice. When that happened to me, I took stock and realized I was heading in the wrong direction. Now I am doing my best to not do the crazy busy thing. It doesn’t do any of us any good. Least of all me. Least of all you.

Learn the Art of Letting Go

    After all, we are all human and we have a little baggage (or a lot)! Sometimes I hold in my feelings until they are like a dam about to overflow. Luckily for me, I have had the opportunity to learn from great authors like Sue Patton Thoele, Melody Beattie, and Mark Nepo that we just have to move on toward the positive. Release any repressed anger and pain that you have been keeping inside. Allow yourself to let go of the past so that you can proceed to live in the present without worry, fear, or resentment. Remember that this isn’t a one-time event, but a process. Letting go is an act of kindness for yourself. Once you can accept that life isn’t always something you can predict or control, yours will eventually become more positive and joyous.

“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it  will be better tomorrow.”

-Maya Angelou

List Your Life

    Instead of writing up and crossing things off of a bucket list, create a "life list." Let your hopes, dreams, fears, and thoughts spill out of you and into this list. Next to each entry, write down how that emotion or fear makes you feel- does it hold you back or empower you? This task will put you on the road to self-discovery. Knowing who you are is important in order to have relationships with others. Know thyself.

One of Many

Together, we can do and be anything we dreamt of.

Buy your copy of "Random Acts of Kindness" by Brenda Knight and Becca Anderson now on mango.bz: https://mango.bz/books/random-acts-of-kindness-1484-b

Live Your Values

     When we are on track, living close to the things we deem important- the things we value- we feel happier. This isn't flash happiness, it isn't the kind that lasts for a few minutes when we get a new toy, or enjoy a concert. This is the kind that lingers in the background of our lives. The kind that even in moments of sadness or frustration, never completely disappears, because if we are living in a values based-life we are also living with meaning and purpose.

    -Polly Campbell

Karma on Wheels

     Slow down and let other drivers merge and go ahead of you. Allow every pedestrian to amble across the street, the slower the better. Is that extra five minutes of driving time going to ruin your life? No, but being a patient, safe, and nice driver will make the ride all the more pleasant and will send a ray of goodness in your wake.