Offer Unconditional Positive Regard

Be accepting. No matter a person’s race, age, culture, or sexual orientation, accept everyone for who they are. Embrace the beauty of humanity and our myriad differences. By opening your eyes and mind to the possibility of love and friendship, new people will flow into your life and change your perspective in miraculous ways.

Be Kind to Yourself, Too

    Make a commitment to refrain from negative self-talk. Be kind to yourself and focus on the traits you like, rather than the ones you don’t. The extremely wise Dawna Markova, the author of a favorite book, I Will Not Die an Unlived Life, says “Your soul remembers when you put yourself down; it imprints upon you. Never do this. Self-compassion is key to a life well-lived.”

Let’s Make it a Complaint-Free World

    Go one day without complaining. Even better, go a week. If this is hard for you to accomplish, it’s time to make some changes in your life. Think positively, live in the present, and appreciate where you are and who you are. Today is a gift, so accept and embrace it. 

    Author Mark Bowen wrote a fantastic book on this very topic that I turn to when I need a reminder, as we all do now and again. My copy came with a bracelet, a simple way to monitor how often you complain that helps you track your progress toward becoming “complaint-free”. Put on the bracelet and every time you complain, switch it to the other wrist. The goal is to go 21 consecutive days without switching the bracelet. It is harder than you might think and I was a bit shocked at what a complainer I turned out to be. It was a really good exercise for me- I highly recommend it. I benefited enormously and I suspect those around me did, too!

Do YOU

    This is your life! Only you can truly control your choices. Choosing happiness is the best way to achieve being good to yourself as well as the world. Here are some suggestions for how you can ensure simple joy in your life:

*Be the best you can be by your own standards

*Surround yourself with people who inspire you and make you feel good

*Focus on what you have, not what you lack

*Optimism trumps pessimism every time!

*Smile often and genuinely

*Be honest, to yourself and others

*Help others

*Embrace your past, live in the present, and look forward for what is yet to come

Learn the Art of Letting Go

    After all, we are all human and we have a little baggage (or a lot)! Sometimes I hold in my feelings until they are like a dam about to overflow. Luckily for me, I have had the opportunity to learn from great authors like Sue Patton Thoele, Melody Beattie, and Mark Nepo that we just have to move on toward the positive. Release any repressed anger and pain that you have been keeping inside. Allow yourself to let go of the past so that you can proceed to live in the present without worry, fear, or resentment. Remember that this isn’t a one-time event, but a process. Letting go is an act of kindness for yourself. Once you can accept that life isn’t always something you can predict or control, yours will eventually become more positive and joyous.

“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it  will be better tomorrow.”

-Maya Angelou

Rewire Your Brain to be More Positive

    Neuropsychiatrist David Amen,MD, posits that thoughts carry physical properties and that the properties of negative thoughts can be detrimental to leading a healthy, happy life. To overturn these negative effects, he prescribes thinking more positively so you can change the way your brain works and in turn change your life for the better.

Be Kind to Yourself, Too

    Make a commitment to refrain from negative self-talk. Be kind to yourself and focus on the traits you like, rather than the ones you don't. The extremely wise Dawna Markova, the author of a favorite book, I Will Not Die an Unlived Life, says, "Your soul remembers when you put yourself down; it imprints upon you. Never do this. Self-compassion is key to a life well-lived."

Yes, You Can

    Remove the word can't from your vocabulary and think about what is actually holding you back- fear, reluctance, pride? Once you stop talking yourself out of taking a risk or making a difficult decision, life will open up for you and so will your mind.

    Do something nice and helpful without being asked. Take out the trash, clean the house, and visit a relative. Once you make a habit of these tasks, you won't need reminding since you will want to do them as you go about your usual day.

List Your Life

    Instead of writing up and crossing things off of a bucket list, create a "life list." Let your hopes, dreams, fears, and thoughts spill out of you and into this list. Next to each entry, write down how that emotion or fear makes you feel- does it hold you back or empower you? This task will put you on the road to self-discovery. Knowing who you are is important in order to have relationships with others. Know thyself.

Free Hugs for All!

    Covid has been hard for those of us who thrive off of hugs. So once everything is lifted, be an indiscriminate hugger. When I first moved to California, I was bit taken aback by all the feelings of comfort, contemned, and security. Hugs are one of the most beautifully human things we can do, and it's definitely on the top of everybody's list once this pandemic is over. So prepare yourselves by hugging what you can around your house, whether it be your pet, a pillow, or a stuffed animal lying around!

It Is Getting Better

    Join the 594,740 people who have taken the It Gets Better Pledge.

    Have you take the pledge? Everyone deserves to be respected for who they are. I pledge to spread this message to my friends, family, and neighbors. I'll speak up against hate and intolerance whenever I see it, at school and at work. I'll provide hope for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and other bullied teens by letting them know that it gets better. Sign on up at itgetsbetter.org to support LGBTQ+ children and help teens live a bully-free life!

Do YOU!

     This is your life! Only you can truly control your choices. Choosing happiness is the best way to achieve being good to yourself as well as the world. Here are some suggestions for how you can ensure simple joy in your life:

• Be the best you can be by your own standards
• Surround yourself with people who inspire you and make you feel good
• Focus on what you have, not what you lack
• Optimism trumps pessimism every time!
• Smile often and genuinely
• Be honest to yourself and others
• Help others
• Embrace your past, live in the present, and look forward for what is yet to come