Stop Interrupting Others When They Are Speaking

We have become a nation of interrupters, as though what we have to say is more important than anyone else’s opinion or thoughts. Think before you speak. If a friend is confiding in you, consider if your words can truly help them. Many people interrupt or relate the problem back to themselves instead of thoughtfully responding to the person who is confiding in them. Reflect on what you have heard and then reply. This is not only basic manners but also means a lot to the person to whom you are listening. I guarantee you will start to notice when you are interrupted once you have stopped. Listening is an act of love.

Stop Interrupting Others When They Are Speaking

    We have become a nation of interrupters, as though what we have to say is more important than anyone else’s opinion or thoughts. Think before you speak. If a friend is confiding in you, consider if your words can truly help them. Many people interrupt or relate the problem back to themselves instead of thoughtfully responding to the person who is confiding in them. Reflect on what you have heard and then reply. This is not only basic manners but also means a lot to the person to whom you are listening. I guarantee you will start to notice when you are interrupted once you have stopped. Listening is an act of love.

Quit Feeling Sorry for Yourself

    What follows is pretty much the best example of this I have ever heard (and deepest thanks to Polly Campbell for this astounding testament to the human spirit). 

    When Rhonda Sciortino was six months old, her mother left her at a neighbors house and never returned. She was taken in by her grandfather, a mentally ill, depressed man who parented her through abuse and neglect, and her grandmother, an alcoholic who ultimately drank herself to death. Life was filled with hunger, struggle, and pain. “I lived in a very dark place,” Rhonda said. “Literally the house was dark, there were often no lights because the electric bill hadn’t been paid. It was a filthy, oppressive place.” 

    When she was about six years old, Rhonda was temporarily placed with a foster family who introduced her to the lighter side of life. “They lived in a clean place. There was plenty of food, they didn’t fight with each other-I remember watching them interact with one another as though they really enjoyed being together,” Rhonda, who is now 50, said. One day the man in the foster home encouraged her to search for the meaning of her own life. “Young lady,” he said, “You better quit feeling sorry for yourself. You were put here for a reason, and you better be about finding out what it is.” The family also took her to a Christian church, where Rhonda said, “meeting Jesus was a turning point.” 

    Although she was ultimately placed back into the abusive home environment, Rhonda never forgot those people, their influence, or the role of Jesus Christ in her life. She believed that there was something more for her, something better. She discovered just what that was, when as an insurance professional, she received a thank-you note from the CEO of a children’s home. She had helped the facility keep operating by saving it thousands of dollars in insurance premiums.

    For Rhonda, that thank-you note was infused with meaning. She quit her job, started her own insurance agency, founded solely to help the people and organizations that help children. Today, she continues that work in her dream job as the National Child Welfare Specialist for Markel Insurance Company. 

    She lives with her husband of more than 20 years in a light-filled home overlooking California’s Pacific Coast and she is a loving mother and grandmother. 

    Rhonda is no longer daunted by her darkness-filled childhood, and no longer angry. “I’ve forgiven them for my abuse and neglect,” Rhonda said. “I value all my life experiences, including the bad, because I gained an understanding and empathy that could not be acquired any other way.” 

    The resourcefulness, self-reliance, and persistence that she developed to survive childhood have also helped her succeed in business and with her life’s purpose.

Just Say Yes

    I (re)learned this truly vital lesson from Imperfect Spirituality author and blogger Polly Campbell: Once today, say “yes” to something unexpected that comes into your life. 

    Know that you are enough to handle whatever emergencies from the yes. Know that you have the whole Universe supporting you. Believe that you will have a good time and learn something that you need to know. Exercise your faith by taking the Universe up on the good things that come your way and practice your optimism by believing that there is more to come.

    Just. Say. Yes. Then take two minutes to reflect and answer these questions for yourself:

*What did you say “yes” to today?

*Were you inclined to first say “no”? Why?

*How did you feel when you said “yes”?

*What did you learn about yourself by saying “yes” to do this thing?

*What do you know now that you didn’t know before you took the leap?

Don't Interrupt When Others Are Talking

    We have become a nation of interrupters, as though what we have to say is more important than anyone else’s opinion or thoughts. Think before you speak. If a friend is confiding in you, consider if your words can truly help them. Many people interrupt or relate the problem back to themselves instead of thoughtfully responding to the person who is confiding in them. Reflect on what you have heard and then reply. This is not only basic manners but also means a lot to the person to whom you are listening. I guarantee you will start to notice when you are interrupted once you have stopped. Listening is an act of love.

Yes, You Can

    Remove the word can't from your vocabulary and think about what is actually holding you back- fear, reluctance, pride? Once you stop talking yourself out of taking a risk or making a difficult decision, life will open up for you and so will your mind.

    Do something nice and helpful without being asked. Take out the trash, clean the house, and visit a relative. Once you make a habit of these tasks, you won't need reminding since you will want to do them as you go about your usual day.

List Your Life

    Instead of writing up and crossing things off of a bucket list, create a "life list." Let your hopes, dreams, fears, and thoughts spill out of you and into this list. Next to each entry, write down how that emotion or fear makes you feel- does it hold you back or empower you? This task will put you on the road to self-discovery. Knowing who you are is important in order to have relationships with others. Know thyself.

Go Forth and See the World

    Things are starting to get back to normal, and vacation plans are beginning to ramp up in numbers again. And after this past year, it's important to remember the importance of traveling, even if it means still wearing a mask and having hand sanitizer on your person after getting the vaccine.

    I am reminded of the peripatetic Phil Cousineau that travel is a very important tool for lasting happiness and creating memories to savor over a lifetime. Phil, author of essential guides to making travel meaningful, The Art of Pilgrimage and The Book of Roads, says its important to "go out of your way," and meet people that are native to the place you're visiting. He also reminds us to give gifts, simple tokens from your homeland, and gestures of goodwill that will be returned a thousandfold.

    Over 2,000 years ago, the sage Lao Tzu remarked, "The longest journey starts with a single step." Phil says to use "the eyes of the heart" when traveling to learn something about yourself and the wide world around you. Here are some of Phil's recommended practices for making travel meaningful:

    Imagine your first memorable journey. What images rise up in your soul? They may be a childhood visit to the family gravesite, the lecture your uncle gave at a famous battlefield, or the hand-in-hand trip with your mother to a religious site. What feelings are evoked by your enshrined travel memories? Do they have any connection with your life today? Have you ever enshrined travel memories? Do they have any connection to your life today? Have you ever made a vow to go someplace that is sacred to you, your family, your group? Have you ever imagined yourself in a place that stirred your soul like the song of doves at dawn? If not you, then who? If not now, when? If not here, where? Paris? Benares? Memphis? -Uncover what you log for and discover who you are.

    If you are traveling soon, make sure you are still practicing guidelines! Mask up, sanitize your hands, and keep six feet apart.

Reach Out

     The holidays can be an intensely lonely time. I remember when I first arrived in San Francisco and really had nowhere to go. Kindly folks invited me to Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I made new friends, ate marvelous dinners, and was so grateful. I try to do the same now that I have a home I can share. Look around and see whom you can invite over. This is a lovely tradition among my group of friends and is, I truly believe, what the holidays are really supposed to be about.

Step Up

Challenge yourself. Life is a process and throughout your years on this planet, get to know yourself better at every stage. Surprise yourself. If you go through life without trying something new, you are not doing yourself justice. Discover your true potential and maybe more than just your life will improve.

Learn the Art of Letting Go

After all, we are all human and we have a little baggage (or a lot)! Sometimes I hold in my feelings until they are like a dam about to overflow. Luckily for me, I have had the opportunity to learn from great authors like Sue Patton Thoele, Melody Beattie, and Mark Nepo that we just have to move on toward the positive.



Release any repressed anger and pain that you have been keeping inside. Allow yourself to let go of the past so that you can proceed to live in the present without worry, fear, or resentment. Remember that this isn't a one-time event, but a process. Letting go is an act of kindness for yourself. Once you can accept that life isn't always something you can predict or control, yours will eventually become more positive and joyous.

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow." 
-Maya Angelou