Seek Out the Shy

Rescue a wallflower. Most people know what it’s like to go to a party and end up standing by yourself. If you see someone alone, mosey on over to them and strike up a conversation. Nine times out of ten, they will have the most interesting things to say out of anybody at the party or dance.

Start Chatting It Up

My boyfriend has that magic ability to talk to anyone; 99% of the time, he makes a new friend, too. It is fun to watch him in action and he is definitely somebody you want to bring to parties and social occasions.

Be open to conversing with new people and becoming friendly with them. If you’re at a bookstore and see someone holding a book you like, strike up a conversation and ask them about it. You may make a new acquaintance or find out that they’re in the same business as you. You can network yourself, share ideas, and make connections at any time.

In line at the Pacific Cafe on Geary Street in San Francisco, we met a woman whose cousin from mainland China was being held in immigration detention for not having the proper paperwork. My boyfriend, who is fluent in Cantonese, was able to offer vital information to this family. You never know when you might need the help of a total stranger!

Add a Half Hour to Your Day

    One of the most brilliantly simple pieces of advice I ever heard was from Peter Shankman at a publishing conference. He said it had transformed his life and it is simply this: get up a half hour earlier and use that to reach out to people. He said it can be as easy as wishing a happy birthday to your Facebook contacts, one meaningful phone call first thing in the morning, or writing a personal note to someone you have been meaning to be in contact with. I remember listening to him and thinking I really didn’t want to get up any earlier. My days were long enough (see July 14 on letting go-clearly I needed to do some right then!) and that did not sound appealing. But his sincerity and enthusiasm somehow broke through my “baditude” and I pondered the idea as I walked back to my car and drove across the Bay Bridge back to my office. I decided to try it and I can tell you, he is right.

    The extra half hour of every morning has been one of the best investments I have ever made, and so much so that I added an hour. It completely changed my life for the better. Try it!

Ask “How Are You?” and Mean It!

    Ask someone how their day is going and start a conversation. Sometimes people want to talk more than they let on and your interest will show them you care. One day, you’ll get the chance to tell some kind-hearted person exactly how you are. Your answer to that question might not always be pretty, but it will feel wonderful to be heard.

Seek Out the Shy

    Rescue a wallflower. Most people know what it’s like to go to a party and end up standing by yourself. If you see someone alone, mosey on over to them and strike up a conversation. Nine times out of ten, they will have the most interesting things to say out of anybody at the party or dance.

No Gossip

    Avoid listening to or spreading gossip. This is a really hard one in our tabloid society, but gossip can be avoided. For one thing, it spreads negative energy all around. Say something nice instead. And mean it!

Start Chatting It Up

    My boyfriend has that magic ability to talk to anyone; 99% of the time, he makes a new friend, too. It is fun to watch him in action and he is definitely somebody you want to bring to parties and social occasions. 

    Be open to conversing with new people and becoming friendly with them. If you’re at a bookstore and see someone holding a book you like, strike up a conversation and ask them about it. You may make a new acquaintance or find out that they’re in the same business as you. You can network yourself, share ideas, and make connections at any time. 

    In line at the Pacific Cafe on Geary Street in San Francisco, we met a woman whose cousin from mainland China was being held in immigration detention for not having the proper paperwork. My boyfriend, who is fluent in Cantonese, was able to offer vital information to this family. You never know when you might need the help of a total stranger!

Make a Social Call

    Simply pick up the phone and call a good friend to talk about what is on your mind. Bare your soul; don’t be afraid to ask for advice. Talk about what is going on in the world and what you can do about it. In this age of texting and Twitter, I have discovered the old-fashioned phone call is very welcome.

Don't Interrupt When Others Are Talking

    We have become a nation of interrupters, as though what we have to say is more important than anyone else’s opinion or thoughts. Think before you speak. If a friend is confiding in you, consider if your words can truly help them. Many people interrupt or relate the problem back to themselves instead of thoughtfully responding to the person who is confiding in them. Reflect on what you have heard and then reply. This is not only basic manners but also means a lot to the person to whom you are listening. I guarantee you will start to notice when you are interrupted once you have stopped. Listening is an act of love.

Ask "How Are You?" and Mean It!

    Ask someone how their day is going and start a conversation. Sometimes people want to talk more than they let on and your interest will show them you care. One day, you'll get the chance to tell some kind-hearted person exactly how you are. Your answer to the question might not always be pretty, but it will feel wonderful to be heard.