Friends Are Not Just for Facebook

    My newer pals are always kind of amazed that I have such a large group of friends, especially from back home in West Virginia. I attribute that to a few things: many of us come from Irish and Scottish stock, so we tend to be a wee bit clannish. We also check in on each other and get together quite regularly. There are the occasional squabbles but when trouble comes knocking, we have each other’s backs all the way. It’s a beautiful thing. When somebody moves, we are there to pack and tape up boxes. When somebody is sick, we are there with homemade soup and a listening ear. To me, friendship is one of the most important things in the world and it is not just a phenomenon that takes place on social media.

Quit Feeling Sorry for Yourself

    What follows is pretty much the best example of this I have ever heard (and deepest thanks to Polly Campbell for this astounding testament to the human spirit). 

    When Rhonda Sciortino was six months old, her mother left her at a neighbors house and never returned. She was taken in by her grandfather, a mentally ill, depressed man who parented her through abuse and neglect, and her grandmother, an alcoholic who ultimately drank herself to death. Life was filled with hunger, struggle, and pain. “I lived in a very dark place,” Rhonda said. “Literally the house was dark, there were often no lights because the electric bill hadn’t been paid. It was a filthy, oppressive place.” 

    When she was about six years old, Rhonda was temporarily placed with a foster family who introduced her to the lighter side of life. “They lived in a clean place. There was plenty of food, they didn’t fight with each other-I remember watching them interact with one another as though they really enjoyed being together,” Rhonda, who is now 50, said. One day the man in the foster home encouraged her to search for the meaning of her own life. “Young lady,” he said, “You better quit feeling sorry for yourself. You were put here for a reason, and you better be about finding out what it is.” The family also took her to a Christian church, where Rhonda said, “meeting Jesus was a turning point.” 

    Although she was ultimately placed back into the abusive home environment, Rhonda never forgot those people, their influence, or the role of Jesus Christ in her life. She believed that there was something more for her, something better. She discovered just what that was, when as an insurance professional, she received a thank-you note from the CEO of a children’s home. She had helped the facility keep operating by saving it thousands of dollars in insurance premiums.

    For Rhonda, that thank-you note was infused with meaning. She quit her job, started her own insurance agency, founded solely to help the people and organizations that help children. Today, she continues that work in her dream job as the National Child Welfare Specialist for Markel Insurance Company. 

    She lives with her husband of more than 20 years in a light-filled home overlooking California’s Pacific Coast and she is a loving mother and grandmother. 

    Rhonda is no longer daunted by her darkness-filled childhood, and no longer angry. “I’ve forgiven them for my abuse and neglect,” Rhonda said. “I value all my life experiences, including the bad, because I gained an understanding and empathy that could not be acquired any other way.” 

    The resourcefulness, self-reliance, and persistence that she developed to survive childhood have also helped her succeed in business and with her life’s purpose.

Think “Best Case Scenario” All the Time

    Many people overanalyze situations, psych themselves out, and only consider the worst-case scenarios. I, for one, am guilty as charged. Let’s start each day on a positive foot and make a list of your “best-case scenarios.” What are the best things that could possibly happen to you? To your family? To the world? Have fun with this and think big.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day of Service

Life's most persistent and urgent question is, "What are you doing for others?"

        -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

    Thanks to Selma, a new generation of moviegoers is learning about the man who fought civil rights, justice, and dignity for African Americans. Along with Bayard Rustin, John Lewis, and other activists, Dr. King appealed to the best within us all. Find a project in your community or register your own project through mlkday.gov. Many presidents share a legal holiday in February, but courageous Dr. King gets his own day.