Gaggles For Good

    Plan an outing with a group of friends that will positively impact society. Instead of just going to the movies again, gang up for the good of all. Together, plant a community garden, help clean up a schoolyard, or volunteer for a nonprofit organization. In the San Francisco Bay Area, there are regular beach clean-up efforts and it is enormously rewarding to see the unmarred beauty beneath the trash. Find your local chapter of “Heal The Bay,” and get a little sun, sand and healing for you, your friends, and your closest coast.

Mother Ocean Day

    Look into volunteering to clean up your local beach. With pollution in our water and in the sand, help make these local hot spots safer for visitors to the beach and the environment! If you live in the San Francisco Bay Area, check out All One Ocean to see when you can help: alloneocean.org/community-meeting-beach-clean-up.

Be a Good in Your Hood

    Pick up and recycle or compost loose garbage as you walk. Sidewalks are meant for safe walking, not weaving through someone else’s abandoned bottles and crumpled up take-out bags. Take pride in the area you live and help contribute to keeping it clean and safe. One person helping can inspire many others to do the same. I vowed to do this 15 years ago while living in the Lower Haight in San Francisco. By the end of each week, I usually had a big bag to take to the HANC recycling Center. In the last couple of years, I have gotten some puzzled glances and even laughter when I am dressed up for a meeting while walking down the street and picking up garbage, empty bottles, and what-have-you. I will occasionally say, “This is my service to the earth. Recycling is my religion.” And it is. I have the planet’s back!

Conscious Kindness

    When I lived in the Panhandle District, I would occasionally wonder to myself from whence the name came from. It is actually a skinny strip of land at the end of San Francisco’s spectacular Golden Gate Park, like a handle on a skillet or big pan. But with so many down and out, there is a good bit of panhandling. In fact, it sometimes seems overwhelming, especially when, on any given day I might be asked for money over a dozen times. I noticed that after 9/11, it became especially grim, as there was a scary economic downturn that accompanied all the other chaos. So I developed a system of my own: I always keep change in the little pocket of my driver’s side door handle. And I prioritize giving it to moms with kids, children, and amputees- anyone who really seems in need of help right now. When I’ve been driving an author around on tour or out-of-town visitors, they have been startled when I mutter, “Oh, an amputee; let me see what I have on me.” I explain my seeming rudeness by explaining that this is my personalized system for giving to panhandlers, and that I was almost an amputee. A few years back, I was hit and run by a drunk driver, which terribly injured my leg. My doctor suggested amputating-but I managed to talk him out of that idea. I had to learn to walk again. It took a looong time and caused a lot of pain. So I always think, “That could have been me!” and I want to help. Many a vet who served their country come back without a limb. This really is the least I can do and wanting to do more is one of the reasons behind this book.

A Mission of Importance

    When I lived in the Lower Haight neighborhood of San Francisco, I drove for a food bank for AIDS patients in my rusted-out little care I had brought all the way from West Virginia. I had arrived in the mid-eighties which we may all remember as the height of the AIDS crisis. One early morning, I was walking to the Church Street MUNI station and there was the food bank, with giant pink letters announcing itself as a place to lend a hand for the AIDS crisis. I went in and within two minutes had a shift and assignments for the week. Everyone in there seemed extremely cool to me. They were not grim at all, but seemed to have a mission of importance. It seemed such a small way to help during that scary time. I learned that regardless of what you can give, large or small, it is important to give of yourself. And it all does add up! Feeding America is the largest hunger relief organization in the United States and they need you. Please visit feedingamerica.org to find your local food bank or hunger organization. Get involved- you’ll make a difference and you’ll make friends along the way. I sure did, and they remain my friends to this day.

Ring Your Bells

    Ring bells and help raise money for people in need. The Red Kettle Christmas Campaign enables the Salvation Army to provide food, toys and clothing to over six million people during the Christmas season and helps more than 34 million Americans recovering from all kinds of personal disasters nationwide. The Red Kettle campaign, first started in San Francisco in 1891, has traditionally been the Salvation Army’s most prominent fund-raiser.” For more information and to find out where you can volunteer, go to ringbells.org.

A Plate of Cookies Can Change a Life

    You know how certain memories sometimes remain crystal clear as though they are trapped in the amber of your consciousness?. While I don’t know nearly enough about how the brain works, I suspect these shards of memory that stay with us are some of the most important events of our lives to be pondered upon for all that they contain. They might be teachable moments for us to draw upon. While the neuroscience aspects allude me, I do know this memory is a life lesson: 

    My besties and I like to have a cup of tea now and again, the fancy kind with tea cakes, cupcakes, and cookies that are almost too beautiful to eat. During my decade in the Lower Haight, my dear friends and I got together once a month, taking turns at each other’s houses. I was excited to be hosting one lovely spring day and planned everything to the tee-lemon bars with lime icing, mini cupcakes with icing that looked like lace, and my favorite black and white cookies, chocolate on one side, vanilla on the other. I even had brightly colored paper napkins with sassy wild women quotes on them. 

    I was working in Berkeley and living in San Francisco, which meant that just getting across the Bay Bridge was going to be an adventure. On this day, it was going to be a miracle. I was terrified my friends would be standing at the front door, stamping their nicely shod feet, waiting for me as I navigated the traffic. I surrendered to it, knowing my anxiety would not change a thing. Plus, I had my secret weapon-the nicest array of confections ever. How could they be mad at me when they were being served stunningly beautiful cookies on napkins that reminded them they are fabulous. 

    Finally, my lane of traffic oozed off the Fremont exit into downtown San Francisco. I was going to bust one of my special moves and drive down a one-way arterial to avoid the clogged streets. To do that, I had to drive past the Transbay Terminal, one of the most desolate and derelict spots in all the greater bay Area. I was chugging along and feeling good about my bag of goodies, when I was stopped again by a Muni bus that appeared to be lumbering along at maybe three miles per hour. But I still had my special treats and my confidence remained intact. 

    I looked to my left and a mother and her toddler were standing on the raised median about two feet away from my car. She looked to be not much older than a teenager herself, and had a big bruise on her cheek and a frightened look. Her little boy was hugging her knee, trying to stay warm in the arctic wind that blasts San Francisco as soon as the sun sets. I smiled at them and she smiled back, and I saw then that she was missing at least one tooth. In this moment, I just knew she had run away from an abusive home and was getting herself and her son to safety. I also knew in that moment that they needed money. I scrambled around in my messy purse but could only find a five-dollar bill, as I had spent all my cash on the sweets. I grabbed the pretty paper bag filled with boxes of delicacies and shoved it into her hands along with the wadded up bill. The look on her face was what will stay with me a lifetime. She was surprised, and the stress drained out of her face and I could see how pretty she was. The bus shot forward and I had to drive away but I managed to shout back at her, “These are the best cookies in the world, so everything is going to be okay!” I looked in the rearview mirror and saw her bend down. She opened a box and lovingly fed her little boy one of my treasured black and whites. They were laughing and her son was even dancing around. My heart lifted as I drove away. I was especially pleased that this young woman was going to be reminded about her fabulousness by sassy paper napkins. 

    My girlfriends and I microwaved popcorn that night but nobody minded. We also ended up having a much deeper and richer discussion about real things, no shop or shopping talk, no boyfriend problems. We talked about how lucky we were and ways we could give back to the world. 

    It is funny how I knew those cookies were going to save the night. I guess I just didn’t know whose.

Start Chatting It Up

    My boyfriend has that magic ability to talk to anyone; 99% of the time, he makes a new friend, too. It is fun to watch him in action and he is definitely somebody you want to bring to parties and social occasions. 

    Be open to conversing with new people and becoming friendly with them. If you’re at a bookstore and see someone holding a book you like, strike up a conversation and ask them about it. You may make a new acquaintance or find out that they’re in the same business as you. You can network yourself, share ideas, and make connections at any time. 

    In line at the Pacific Cafe on Geary Street in San Francisco, we met a woman whose cousin from mainland China was being held in immigration detention for not having the proper paperwork. My boyfriend, who is fluent in Cantonese, was able to offer vital information to this family. You never know when you might need the help of a total stranger!

Become a Modern Digger

    There is plenty of free stuff to be found in every community. Urban foraging, or dumpster diving, has become very popular in the last few decades. Well-known proponents of the movement include Food Not Bombs, which began feeding the hungry with salvaged food 30 years ago; and I first heard about The Diggers when I was interviewing the great poets Diane di Prima and Janine Pommy Vega for Women of the Beat Generation. 

    The Diggers, who came together in the sixties in San Francisco, regularly fed around 200 people a day on donated and foraged food. They also ran free shops, threw free parties, and started a free medical clinic. 

    Some contemporary urban foragers call themselves Freegans (a composite of free and vegan) and pride themselves on their recycling prowess. The Freegan mission is to live with minimal consumption of resources and limited involvement in the mechanisms of the conventional economy. If you fancy learning the skills necessary for successful dumpster diving, Freegans (freegan.info) are the people to contact. Active groups are listed, and some organize trash tours where they instruct newcomers on how to scavenge safely. The basic rules are common sense: forage with at least one other person, always thoroughly check food when you get home and wash as needed before eating anything, and don’t leave a big mess at the scene- the rodents will love you, but the store owners won’t!

One Man’s Scrap Is Another Man’s Gold

    Redistributing surplus has been the driving force behind many nonprofit organizations serving local communities. One of my favorite initiatives is the Scrounger’s Center for Reusable Art Parts, otherwise known as SCRAP. SCRAP has been operating in an industrial district in San Francisco since 1976. Donations of paper, paint, and all kinds of arty bits and pieces are the mainstay of SCRAP’s inventory. I’ve seen reams of embossed ribbon, plaster casts, tubes of glitter, and circuit boards. They offer art supplies at very low cost and provide free materials for art projects. Go over there and get inspired to create! Learn more information about SCRAP, a source for the resourceful, at scrap-sf.org

Gaggles For Good

    Plan an outing with a group of friends that will positively impact society. Instead of just going to the movies again, gang up for the good of all. Together, plant a community garden, help clean up a schoolyard, or volunteer for a nonprofit organization. In the San Francisco Bay Area, there are regular beach clean-up efforts and it is enormously rewarding to see the unmarred beauty beneath the trash. Find your local chapter of “Heal The Bay,” and get a little sun, sand and healing for you, your friends, and your closest coast.

Mother Ocean Day

    Look into volunteering to clean up your local beach. With pollution in our water and in the sand, help make these local hot spots safer for future visitors to the beach and the environment! If you live in the San Francisco Bay Area, check out All One Ocean to see when you can help: alloneocean.org/community-meeting-beach-clean-up. 

Plant Flowers in Abandoned Lots

    May Day was a sacred celebration of Spring in ancient times and remains a special day for common folk. I have attended several marvelous festivities complete with garlanded Maypoles; one held by Z Budapest is a treasured memory. I have my own tradition for this merry month, which is a really simple and easy way to celebrate spring: I plant flower seeds in neglected plots of land all around the Bay Area, particularly nasturtiums, which thrive on neglect and can bloom anywhere and under any circumstances. I could give a driving tour of San Francisco and the East Bay and show you the brightly colored patches that are the result of my Johnny Appleseed-style scattershot approach. You can even eat them! I always have a lot of nasturtiums growing in my garden and I collect the seeds once they have flowered in plastic baggies. I joke to my friends that I would like my legacy to be that I was "Fiesta Brenda," the name of a mix that yields a riot of color that can turn any former parking lot or weed patch into a pocket of red, yellow, and orange sunshine. I will add that some of my tenth-generation crop mutated into a lovely variegated leaf, which only adds to the glory. This bit of freeganomics feeds my should like almost nothing else. I would say it is a sensible act of beauty.

Conscious Kindness

     When I lived in the Panhandle District, I would occasionally wonder to myself from whence the name came from. It is actually a skinny strip of land at the end of San Francisco's spectacular Golden Gate Park, like a handle on a skillet or big pan. But with so many down and out, there is a good bit of panhandling. In fact, it sometimes seems overwhelming, especially when, on any given day, I might be asked for money over a dozen times. I noticed that after 9/11, it became especially grim, as there was a scary economic downturn that accompanied all the other chaos.  So I developed a system of my own: I always keep change in the little pocket of my driver's side door handle. And I prioritize giving it to moms with kids, children, and amputees- anyone who really seems in need of help right now. When I've been driving an author around on tour or out-of-town visitors, they have been startled when I mutter, "Oh, an amputee; let me see what I have on me." I explain my seeming rudeness by explaining that this is my personalized system for giving to panhandlers, and that I was almost an amputee. A few years back, I was hit and run by a drunk driver, which terribly injured my leg. My doctor suggested amputating- but I managed to talk him out of that idea. I had to learn to walk again. It took a long time and caused a lot of pain. So I always think, "That could have been me!" and I want to help. Many a vet who served their country come back without a limb. This really is the least I can do and wanting to do more is one of the reasons behind this book.

A Mission of Importance

    When I lived in the Lower Haight neighborhood of San Francisco, I drove for a food bank for AIDS patients in my rusted-out little car that I brought all the way from West Virginia. I had arrived in the mid-eighties, which we may all remember as the height of the AIDS crisis. One early morning, I was walking to the Church Street MUNI station and there was the food bank, with giant pink letters announcing itself as a place to lend a hand for the AIDS crisis. I went in and within two minutes had a shift and assignments for the week. Everyone in there seemed extremely cool to me. They were not grim at all, but seemed to have a mission of importance. It seemed such a small way to help during that scary time. I learned that regardless of what you can give, large or small, it is important to give of yourself. And it all does add up!

    Feeding America is the largest hunger relief organization in the United States and they need you.  Please visit feedingamerica.org to find your local food bank or hunger organization. Get involved- you'll make a difference and you'll make friends along the way. I sure did, and they remain my friends to this day.

Reach Out

     The holidays can be an intensely lonely time. I remember when I first arrived in San Francisco and really had nowhere to go. Kindly folks invited me to Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I made new friends, ate marvelous dinners, and was so grateful. I try to do the same now that I have a home I can share. Look around and see whom you can invite over. This is a lovely tradition among my group of friends and is, I truly believe, what the holidays are really supposed to be about.

Share the Love

    The Holidays can be a difficult time for many people who don't have family nearby, a home to sleep in, of food to eat. A great way to be a good in the world is to volunteer a few hours of your time to work in a soup kitchen and help serve those who are in need of a hot meal. You can also use this time to get your family involved and impart good moral values on your children. For many years running, I have volunteered at Glide Memorial Church in downtown San Francisco and enjoyed each and every minute of it. I bet your community has a place like Glide that can be your happy place. Make other people happy and feel your own special joy. If you find yourself in the San Francisco Bay Area around Thanksgiving or Christmas, check out glide.org/serveameal, then come on down and we'll have fun together serving up some love.

    The Volunteer Resource Program at Glide works with about 10,000 volunteers each year, totally 65,000 hours of service. The Glide Meals Program is a transformative experience. This program requires 85 volunteers each day to fill the breakfast, prep, lunch and dinner shifts, all 365 days a year. With your help they can serve up to 2,400 meals per day to the Glide community. Volunteers assist with everything from serving food, to bussing tables, to handing out silverware and condiments. Be prepared to roll up your sleeves, and make some beautiful connections!

Gaggles for Good

Plan an outing with a group of friends that will positively impact society. Instead of just going to the movies again, gang up for the good of all. Together, plant a community garden, help clean up a schoolyard, or volunteer for a nonprofit organization.



In the San Fransisco Bay Area, there are regular beach clean-up efforts and it is enormously rewarding to see the unmarred beauty beneath the trash. Find your local chapter of "Heal the Bay," and get a little sun, sand, and healing for you, your friends and the closest coast. 

Conscious Acts of Kindness

When I lived in the Panhandle District, I would occasionally wonder to myself from whence the name came. It is actually a skinny strip of land at the end of San Francisco’s spectacular Golden Gate Park, like a handle on a skillet or big pan.

 But with so many down and out, there is a good bit of panhandling, the verb- asking for money. In fact, it sometimes seems overwhelming, especially when on any given day, I might be hit up over a dozen times.  I noticed that after 9/11, it became especially grim, as there was a scary economic downturn that accompanied all the other chaos. So, I developed a system of my own and I always kept change in the little pocket of my driver’s side door handle to be ready for when I was driving.  Here is my system and I just did it today: moms with kids, children, and amputee’s, anyone who really seems to me to need help now.  If I am driving an author around on tour or out-of-town visitors, they have, on occasion, been startled when I mutter,” Oh, an amputee; let me see what I have on me. “ I explain my seeming rudeness by saying this is my personalized system and that I was almost an amputee when I was hit and run by a drunk driver a few years back and managed to talk my doctor out of that idea.  I had to learn to walk again and it took a looong time and a lot of pain. So, I always think, “that could have been me” and I want to help.   Many a vet who served their country came back without a limb and even fewer options.  This really is the least I can do and wanting to do more is one of the reasons behind my book, Be a Good in the World. 

Just say hello!

Try something new this year and check out the Just Say Hello Campaign on Oprah’s website. The campaign (find it at www.oprah.com) encourages kindness and strives to combat loneliness by reading our and connecting. A howdy-do to a stranger might make your day and a new pal in the process. I read about this excellent friendliness project in Oprah’s O Magazine a few Sundays ago and immediately felt inspired to try it that day. My boyfriend and I went to do our weekend chores, which include fresh flowers from our neighborhood stand. An older gentleman was standing there smelling the roses, always a good idea in my mind. I remembered to say “Hi” as instructed by Oprah and he responded with a big smile and wanted my input on flowers he wanted to buy for a lady friend.  As you might imagine, quite a conversation ensued and my boyfriend joined in, who is even friendlier than I am. Soon the florist was involved and our new gentleman friend turned out to be a fascinating conversationalist. He had been a fighter pilot in the Korean War, very highly decorated and has travelled all over the world before returning back home to El Cerrito. Widowed some years back, he was only beginning to get back out there and date. After landing upon a carefully selected bouquet of red roses and pink lilies, he headed off to the dance at the senior center. I noticed he has a good bit of pep in his step and I remember having a good feeling about his first date. We kept our eyes peeled for Colonel Jarvis when in the vicinity of the flower shop and sure enough we saw him and he had pictures of his lady friend from the dance featuring a corsage he had gotten for her. Things were looking pretty swell all around and he looked pleased as punch.

So, thanks Oprah for another great idea!