Be Ripsniptious!

Author Art Plotnik helped revive this word in his book Better Than Great: A Plenitudinous

Compendium of Wallopingly Fresh Superlatives. Simply put, “ripsniptious” (rip-snip-shuss) can

be used to express something or someone that is wonderful and highly spirited. Today, you will

be ripsniptious and notice all of the other ripsniptious things around you. Let this be your word of

the day and let it embody you-and introduce others to ripsniptious of the word ripsniptious! It’s

fun to say, isn’t it? It’s even better to be it. It is also a wonderful compliment and I think you are

pretty darn ripsniptious for reading this book!

Quit Feeling Sorry for Yourself

What follows is pretty much the best example of this I have ever heard (and deepest thanks to Polly Campbell for this astounding testament to the human spirit).

When Rhonda Sciortino was six months old, her mother left her at a neighbors house and never returned. She was taken in by her grandfather, a mentally ill, depressed man who parented her through abuse and neglect, and her grandmother, an alcoholic who ultimately drank herself to death. Life was filled with hunger, struggle, and pain. “I lived in a very dark place,” Rhonda said. “Literally the house was dark, there were often no lights because the electric bill hadn’t been paid. It was a filthy, oppressive place.”

When she was about six years old, Rhonda was temporarily placed with a foster family who introduced her to the lighter side of life. “They lived in a clean place. There was plenty of food, they didn’t fight with each other-I remember watching them interact with one another as though they really enjoyed being together,” Rhonda, who is now 50, said. One day the man in the foster home encouraged her to search for the meaning of her own life. “Young lady,” he said, “you better quit feeling sorry for yourself. You were put here for a reason, and you better be about finding out what it is.” The family also took her to a Christian church, where Rhonda said, “meeting Jesus was a turning point.”

Although she was ultimately placed back into the abusive home environment, Rhonda never forgot those people, their influence, or the role of Jesus Christ in her life. She believed that there was something more for her, something better.. She discovered just what that was, when as an insurance professional, she received a thank-you note from the CEO of a children’s home. She had helped the facility keep operating by saving it thousands of dollars in insurance premiums.

For Rhonda, that thank-you note was infused with meaning. She quit her job, started her own insurance agency, founded solely to help the people and organizations that help children. Today, she continues that work in her dream job as the National Child Welfare Specialist for Markel Insurance Company.

She lives with her husband of more than 20 years in a light-filled home overlooking California’s Pacific Coast and she is a loving mother and grandmother.

Rhonda is no longer daunted by her darkness-filled childhood, and no longer angry. “I’ve forgiven them for my abuse and neglect,” Rhonda said. “I value all my life experiences, including the bad, because I gained an understanding and empathy that could not be acquired any other way.”

The resourcefulness, self-reliance, and persistence that she developed to survive childhood have also helped her succeed in business and with her life’s purpose.

Welcome Home, Baby (and Mom and Dad)

Make dinner for new parents the day they come home with their baby. Odds are they will be too busy and tired to cook dinner themselves. A healthy and delicious meal with plenty for leftovers can ease parents back home and into their new routine.

Make Furry Friends

Studies show pets provide both a psychological and physical boost to their owners-so donate to petsfortheelderly.org to help a senior get a dog or a cat. The unconditional love of a pet can make a life that much sweeter.

Be Kind to Yourself, Too

Make a commitment to refrain from negative self-talk. Be kind to yourself and focus on the traits you like, rather than the ones you don’t. The extremely wise Dawna Markova, the author of a favorite book, I Will Not Die an Unlived Life, says “Your soul remembers when you put yourself down; it imprints upon you. Never do this. Self-compassion is key to a life well-lived.”

Extend an Invitation to Life’s Rich Banquet

If you see a uniformed soldier or veteran in a restaurant, arrange to pay for their meal. Anonymously is perfect unless you want to thank them personally and “enlist” a new friend into your life!

Practice Random Acts Of Kindness (and Deliberate Ones, Too)

Random Acts of Kindness Day is always the week of Valentine’s Day. I love to hear how this meaningful movement has touched others’ lives. Artist and author Peg Conley shares her thoughts:

   You’ve seen those bumper stickers, the ones encouraging you to commit “random acts of kindness?” What they can’t tell you in that little space is how performing those acts can be a way of transforming yourself. When you begin to focus on extending kindness towards others, you’ll feel more kindness coming towards you. Not only will you make someone else’s day better, you’ll be surprised how well yours improves. It’s rather like the “Secret Santa” gift exchange that many offices and families adopt during the weeks leading up to Christmas. There is delight when you do something for another while keeping your identity a secret. When you watch a person receiving a surprise gift, you see their face change, the eyes open wide with delight, a smile bursting into a grin, and laughter erupting. They appear to feel sheer joy at the unexpected. The old adage is true: “It is in giving that we receive.”  The other part of the quote, which is by a San Franciscan writer named Anne Herbert, is often left out: “and (practice) senseless acts of beauty.” I received a text the other day from a friend who had taken a picture with her phone of a sidewalk outside a coffee shop where she works in San Francisco. Someone had written “ It’s a beautiful day” with colored chalk on the sidewalk and adorned it with butterflies and hearts. That, to me, is a senseless act of beauty. Think how many people walked on that sidewalk that day and smiled at the childish scrawl reminding them of the beautiful day.

  The Hebrew word mitzvah means a good deed or an act of kindness. Judaism teaches that the world is built on kindness. I recall what my Bubbe, a dear friend in Salt Lake City who was my son’s first caregiver, used to tell me about the importance of doing mitzvahs. She believes in the power of doing good for another person but not telling them about it. She is a perfect example of someone who practices random acts of kindness, and also one who sees and acknowledges the beauty in everyone she meets. I always feel better just by being in her presence. Entire campaigns focused on practicing random acts of kindness have sprouted up. This, along with “having an attitude of gratitude,” enriches my days in many ways. There are myriad ways you can practice random acts of kindness. Don’t forget to include yourself when you are doing them!

Listening Is an Act of Love

We don’t always have to donate time and energy to other parts of the world. Sometimes help is needed much closer to home.  Is a parent, sibling, spouse, or friend having a difficult time? Help lift their spirits by letting them experience that loving feeling. Invite them to coffee or to dinner, surprise them with a simple gift, or take them somewhere they like. Lean forward and listen closely. Just listen.

Give Away Your Old Stuff

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: we all have too much stuff. Do a favor for people in need and give away some of the things you no longer use or wear. Others would be happy to have them and you will simplify your life and enjoy your time more. Find a few locations that you can drop off your stuff or call an organization that collects goods to redistribute to those in need. There are Goodwills and Salvation Army centers in every town, large or small, so you can donate to help others.

Uncommon Courtesy

Make a point of smiling at everyone you encounter and cross paths with today. Such a  simple thing can mean an awful lot. 

Love and Lattes

Leave a tip and a little thank-you note in the tip jar at your favorite coffee or ice cream shop. Many of us remember the days when we had to work retail or hospitality while in high school or college. The staff is working hard, so show your appreciation for your latte and their positive attitude with a dollar or two. I have put in little “good job” notes in the tip jar at my local Peet’s Coffee & Tea. I think good work should be acknowledged and people should know they are appreciated (and so should their boss!). I have made lifelong friends at the two Peet’s I have frequented and it is nice to see them across the counter every morning. Those relationships all began with four little words: “How are you today?”

Earn an Advanced Degree in Giving

I count myself very lucky indeed to know the world’s only Jollytologist, Allen Klein. The story of how he came to have this distinction astounds me. Ever hear of a “Jollytologist”? Well, meet Allen Klein. Through his books and presentations, Klein shows people worldwide how to deal with everything from traffic jams to corporate culture. Klein got into this unusual line of work after his wife died of a rare liver disease at the age of 34 when he saw how humor helped her, and those around her, to cope. He now teaches others how to find humor in trying times. His audiences include people in 48 American states as well as Israel and Australia, and clients from IBM to the IRS. Comedian Jerry Lewis has said that Allen Klein is “a noble and vital force watching over the human condition.”I agree with Jerry Lewis and would add that Allen Klein makes the world a better place, every day!

New Year’s Eve

Make a number of envelopes with “Emergency Midnight Kisses” written on the front and put in a few Hershey’s kisses inside. Scatter these around town or the shindig you are at and bring a smile to many faces as you ring in the New Year.

Be a Hospice Volunteer

Jollytologist Allen Klein shares this beautiful story:

When I was a hospice volunteer, one of the patients I was assigned to look after was an elderly woman who loved classical music. For many years, she, her son, and her daughter had season symphony tickets. But she was way too ill to use them now. Her prognosis was only a few weeks left to live.

I discussed the situation with the hospice team and how we might get her to a concert. Perhaps we could put her in a wheelchair or even on a gurney and have her at the back of the theater. But in her condition, we realized that that would not work.

Then I had an idea. I called the San Francisco Conservatory of Music, one of the leading schools in the country, and asked if they had a student who might volunteer to play something for a dying woman. A few days later, they sent over a very talented young woman, a violinist, who gave a private performance for the patient and her family.

I wasn’t at the apartment at the time but from what the daughter told me the next day, it was glorious. She said that after the intimate living room recital, her mother told her, “In all my years of going to the symphony, that was the best concert I have ever attended.”

Random Acts of Roses

Use your flower power: go to the local discount store and pick up some small vases. Add a ribbon, some freshly picked flowers, and deliver the arrangements to elders at a local community center, nurses in the ER, or anywhere you know people can use little random acts of roses.

National Day of Listening

Be an active listener. When someone else is speaking, it is easy to become distracted by thoughts and external sounds, such as a car horn or other nearby conversations-and by giving in to these distractions you can miss crucial details from the speaker. Let the person who is talking know that you are listening by making eye contact and focusing on the sound of their voice rather than the distractions around you. Additionally, don’t interrupt someone when they are speaking. Listen, then respond. Quite often, people are not looking to be “fixed”-they truly just want to be heard.

From Growing Up Homeless to Helping the Homeless

NFL player James Jones knows it’s better to give than to receive. “Being homeless made me a better man,” says James Jones, wide receiver for the Oakland Raiders since 2014. “And while I wouldn’t wish anyone to go through that, I wouldn’t change anything as far as how I grew up.” Having slept in shelters and on park benches for the first 15 years of his life, Jones’ success as an athlete defies stereotypes about homelessness and poverty.

He has taken his challenging experiences to heart. Since being drafted to the NFL in 2007, he has volunteered for many community organizations, and in 2008, started his own with his wife, Tamika. The Love Jones 4 Kids foundation (lovejones4kids.com) provides funding for school supplies, football camps, and pep talks to underprivileged children, many of them living in the same conditions that Jones did growing up.

“People are used to hearing about a homeless person or kid and don’t think it’s possible to be a professional football player. But down on your luck doesn’;t mean down and out.” Touchdown!

Shower the People You Love with Love

After a wedding or party, donate all the flowers to a nursing home or hospital. Alternately, take them to your place of work and fill the entire office with beauty and love.

A Plate of Cookies Can Change a Life

You know how certain memories sometimes remain crystal clear as though they are trapped in the amber of your consciousness?. While I don’t know nearly enough about how the brain works, I suspect these shards of memory that stay with us are some of the most important events of our lives to be pondered upon for all that they contain. They might be teachable moments for us to draw upon. While the neuroscience aspects allude me, I do know this memory is a life lesson:

My besties and I like to have a cup of tea now and again, the fancy kind with tea cakes, cupcakes, and cookies that are almost too beautiful to eat. During my decade in the Lower Haight, my dear friends and I got together once a month, taking turns at each other’s houses. I was excited to be hosting one lovely spring day and planned everything to the tee-lemon bars with lime icing, mini cupcakes with icing that looked like lace, and my favorite black and white cookies, chocolate on one side, vanilla on the other. I even had brightly colored paper napkins with sassy wild women quotes on them. 

I was working in Berkeley and living in San Francisco, which meant that just getting across the Bay Bridge was going to be an adventure. On this day, it was going to be a miracle. I was terrified my friends would be standing at the front door, stamping their nicely shod feet, waiting for me as I navigated the traffic. I surrendered to it, knowing my anxiety would not change a thing. Plus, I had my secret weapon-the nicest array of confections ever. How could they be mad at me when they were being served stunningly beautiful cookies on napkins that reminded them they are fabulous?

Finally, my lane of traffic oozed off the Fremont exit into downtown San Francisco. I was going to bust one of my special moves and drive down a one-way arterial to avoid the clogged streets. To do that, I had to drive past the Transbay Terminal, one of the most desolate and derelict spots in all the greater bay Area. I was chugging along and feeling good about my bag of goodies, when I was stopped again by a Muni bus that appeared to be lumbering along at maybe three miles per hour. But I still had my special treats and my confidence remained intact. 

I looked to my left and a mother and her toddler were standing on the raised median about two feet away from my car. She looked to be not much older than a teenager herself, and had a big bruise on her cheek and a frightened look. Her little boy was hugging her knee, trying to stay warm in the arctic wind that blasts San Francisco as soon as the sun sets. I smiled at them and she smiled back, and I saw then that she was missing at least one tooth. In this moment, I just knew she had run away from an abusive home and was getting herself and her son to safety. I also knew in that moment that they needed money. I scrambled around in my messy purse but could only find a five-dollar bill, as I had spent all my cash on the sweets. I grabbed the pretty paper bag filled with boxes of delicacies and shoved it into her hands along with the wadded up bill. The look on her face was what will stay with me a lifetime. She was surprised, and the stress drained out of her face and I could see how pretty she was. The bus shot forward and I had to drive away but I managed to shout back at her, “These are the best cookies in the world, so everything is going to be okay!” I looked in the rearview mirror and saw her bend down. She opened a box and lovingly fed her little boy one of my treasured black and whites. They were laughing and her son was even dancing around. My heart lifted as I drove away. I was especially pleased that this young woman was going to be reminded about her fabulousness by sassy paper napkins. 

My girlfriends and I microwaved popcorn that night but nobody minded. We also ended up having a much deeper and richer discussion about real things, no shop or shopping talk, no boyfriend problems. We talked about how lucky we were and ways we could give back to the world. 

It is funny how I knew those cookies were going to save the night. I guess I just didn’t knowwhose.

National Forgiveness Day

If you have borne a grudge for someone, forgive them or let it go. You don’t need that negative energy in your life. Remember that forgiveness is not absolution; what happened in the past still happened, but forgiveness can relieve yourself of the burden that has been weighing you down. Now you can heal. Our society is also in need of lessons in forgiveness and a dramatic reminder of this can be found in the film and foundation behind unlikelyfriendsforgive.com. They promote the real power of atonement and the art of forgiving, even after brutal acts of violence.