DIY Optimism

Make a sign that reads, “Take what you need,” with tear-off tabs on the bottom that say, “love,” “courage,” “optimism,” and so on. Hang it up in places you regularly pass by. Keep refills at the ready!

Develop More Patience

I love the old-fashioned ideas of virtues, such as kindness and generosity, a lot. I am determined to develop my patience muscle so it gets stronger all the time. Here is a big one for me: to learn to have patience with difficult people. (And realize I may be one myself and not know it!) This is not only a good deed for the person you are exhibiting patience towards, but it is also a good deed for yourself. Imagine that, a good deed for yourself!

For example, when someone pushes your buttons by doing something or saying something rude, you can choose to act with patience and understanding instead of anger. This will benefit you by keeping your blood pressure and stress levels low-which we know are two health issues that many people are suffering from today. My wise woman friend BJ Gallagher ays, “Difficult people are the ones we learn the most from.”

Pens Really Are More Powerful than Swords

https://pencilsofpromise.org/

Raise money for Pencils of Promise to help build a school in an impoverished country. For more information, visit their website: pencilsofpromise.org.

Quit Feeling Sorry for Yourself

What follows is pretty much the best example of this I have ever heard (and deepest thanks to Polly Campbell for this astounding testament to the human spirit).

When Rhonda Sciortino was six months old, her mother left her at a neighbors house and never returned. She was taken in by her grandfather, a mentally ill, depressed man who parented her through abuse and neglect, and her grandmother, an alcoholic who ultimately drank herself to death. Life was filled with hunger, struggle, and pain. “I lived in a very dark place,” Rhonda said. “Literally the house was dark, there were often no lights because the electric bill hadn’t been paid. It was a filthy, oppressive place.”

When she was about six years old, Rhonda was temporarily placed with a foster family who introduced her to the lighter side of life. “They lived in a clean place. There was plenty of food, they didn’t fight with each other-I remember watching them interact with one another as though they really enjoyed being together,” Rhonda, who is now 50, said. One day the man in the foster home encouraged her to search for the meaning of her own life. “Young lady,” he said, “you better quit feeling sorry for yourself. You were put here for a reason, and you better be about finding out what it is.” The family also took her to a Christian church, where Rhonda said, “meeting Jesus was a turning point.”

Although she was ultimately placed back into the abusive home environment, Rhonda never forgot those people, their influence, or the role of Jesus Christ in her life. She believed that there was something more for her, something better.. She discovered just what that was, when as an insurance professional, she received a thank-you note from the CEO of a children’s home. She had helped the facility keep operating by saving it thousands of dollars in insurance premiums.

For Rhonda, that thank-you note was infused with meaning. She quit her job, started her own insurance agency, founded solely to help the people and organizations that help children. Today, she continues that work in her dream job as the National Child Welfare Specialist for Markel Insurance Company.

She lives with her husband of more than 20 years in a light-filled home overlooking California’s Pacific Coast and she is a loving mother and grandmother.

Rhonda is no longer daunted by her darkness-filled childhood, and no longer angry. “I’ve forgiven them for my abuse and neglect,” Rhonda said. “I value all my life experiences, including the bad, because I gained an understanding and empathy that could not be acquired any other way.”

The resourcefulness, self-reliance, and persistence that she developed to survive childhood have also helped her succeed in business and with her life’s purpose.

Start Chatting It Up

My boyfriend has that magic ability to talk to anyone; 99% of the time, he makes a new friend, too. It is fun to watch him in action and he is definitely somebody you want to bring to parties and social occasions.

Be open to conversing with new people and becoming friendly with them. If you’re at a bookstore and see someone holding a book you like, strike up a conversation and ask them about it. You may make a new acquaintance or find out that they’re in the same business as you. You can network yourself, share ideas, and make connections at any time.

In line at the Pacific Cafe on Geary Street in San Francisco, we met a woman whose cousin from mainland China was being held in immigration detention for not having the proper paperwork. My boyfriend, who is fluent in Cantonese, was able to offer vital information to this family. You never know when you might need the help of a total stranger!

Giving Benefits the Giver, Too!

Find joy in giving. “Altruism boosts immune function, improves our moods, and is linked, not only to a higher quality of life, but a longer one,” according to Stephen Post, at Stony Brook University. Those who help others also experience a “helper’s high” when their bodies are flooded with feel good endorphins and other natural chemicals. It’s pretty basic: when we do good, we feel good.

Be a Tourist in Your Own Town

Go for a stroll around the city you live in. Pay attention to the little things you may have been missing, such as the architecture, the perfect picnic spot in a park, the greenery, and the people around you. Spend your money where your heart is, your own community.

World Smile Day!

Flash those pearly whites! Smile as you walk past someone. Maybe it’s the barista handing you your much needed double-shot latte in the morning, your neighbor planting flowers by their lawn as you go to check your mail, or a stranger walking their dog down the street. A simple, genuine smile can brighten someone’s day as well as yours. It’s really not that difficult to do. Remember that saying about it taking more muscles to frown than smile? Well, it’s true!

Just Say yes

I (re)learned this truly vital lesson from Imperfect Spirituality author and blogger Polly Campbell: Once today, say “yes” to something unexpected that comes into your life.

Know that you are enough to handle whatever emergencies from the yes. Know that you have the whole Universe supporting you. Believe that you will have a good time and learn something that you need to know. Exercise your faith by taking the Universe up on the good things that come your way and practice your optimism by believing that there is more to come.

Just. Say. Yes. Then take two minutes to reflect and answer these questions for yourself:

    *What did you say “yes” to today?

    *Were you inclined to first say “no”? Why?

    *How did you feel when you said “yes”?

    *What did you learn about yourself by saying “yes” to do this thing?

    *What do you know now that you didn’t know before you took the leap?

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

As we enter October, national Breast Cancer Awareness Month, be sure to schedule an appointment with your doctor to have an exam. Men need to remind their doctors, as well, as this is not just a women’s issue. Remind your close friends to do the same and schedule appointments for the same time so you can go together and give moral support. It is important for us to be educated about all forms of cancer and to take the necessary steps to stay healthy. Visit breastcancer.org to answer and questions you may have.

I am a breast cancer survivor and deeply grateful. I remember getting the diagnosis and just going completely numb. I was like a zombie going through the motions of my life, getting up and going to work, cooking dinner, trying to focus but all I could think was “I have cancer.” My friends and family helped me through it all. I also had a genius doctor who got me and understood that it would be a physical, emotional and spiritual journey. She was open to discussions about all that. I am lucky in so many ways, being free and clear for over a decade now. I bonded with my female physician, who asked me to stay involved in her practice as a counselor for the newly diagnosed. Each time I work with someone who has just found out they have cancer, I offer my story and all the success stories I have witnessed, while listening to their fears, dishing out lots of hugs, and helping them in any way I can. This is one of the best things I do with my life-using my wisdom to help another.