Help those TO help themselves

We all remember the Biblical parable about teaching a man to fish so he can provide for himself and his family. Two thousand years later, we can do exactly this. My dad taught me how to fish in a pond back home on the farm in West Virginia and, even as a 7 year-old, I could not help but notice that we not only got a couple day’s worth of yummy trout for our efforts but my papa, a former Marine with many battle scars to show for it, seemed so relaxed after an afternoon at the pond. You can gift in a loved one’s name a $49 fishing kit or up to $100 for a daily goat to Action against Hunger (www, ActionAgainstHunger.org), which feeds over 7 million, people each year. Go fish!

Practice Random Acts of Kindness (and deliberate ones, too)

Random Acts of Kindness Day is always the week of Valentine’s Day. I always love to hear how this meaningful movement has touched other’s lives. Artist author Peg Conley shares this: You’ve seen those bumper stickers, the ones encouraging you to commit “random acts of kindness?” What they can’t tell you in that little space is how performing those acts can be a way of transforming yourself. When you begin to focus on extending kindness toward others, you’ll feel more kindness coming toward you. Not only will you make someone else’s day better, you’ll be surprised at how well yours improves. It’s rather like the “secret Santa” gift exchange that many offices and families adopt during the weeks leading up to Christmas. There is delight when you do something for another while keeping your identity a secret. When you watch a person receiving a surprise gift, you see their face change, the eyes open wide with delight, a smile bursting into a grin, and laughter erupting. They appear to feel sheer joy at the unexpected. The old adage is true: “It is in giving that we receive.” The other part of the quote, which is by a San Francisco writer named Anne Herbert, is often left out: “and [practice] senseless acts of beauty.” I received a text the other day from a friend who had taken a picture with her phone of a sidewalk outside the coffee shop where she works in San Francisco. Someone had written “It’s a beautiful day” with colored chalk on the sidewalk and adorned it with butterflies and hearts. That, to me, is a senseless act of beauty. Think how many people walked on the sidewalk that day and smiled at the childish scrawl reminding them of the beautiful day.

The Hebrew word mitzvah means a good deed or an act of kindness. Judaism teaches that the world is built on kindness. I recall what my Bubbe, a dear friend in Salt Lake City who was my son’s first caregiver, used to tell me about the importance of doing mitzvah s. She believes in the power of doing something good for another person but not telling them about it. She is a perfect example of someone who practices random acts of kindness, and also one who sees and acknowledges the beauty in everyone she meets. I always feel better just by being in her presence. Entire campaigns focused on practicing random acts of kindness have sprouted up. This, along with “having an attitude of gratitude,” enriches my days in many ways. There are myriad ways you can practice random acts of kindness. Don’t forget to include yourself when you are doing them!

• Pick up trash you see on the street and make the world a better place.

 • Pay for the coffee of the person behind you in line.

• Buy a cookie for a coworker and leave it on their desk.

 • Hold the door open for someone.

• Smile at a stranger.

• Send a thank-you note through the mail.

Conscious Kindness

When I lived in the Panhandle District, I would occasionally wonder to myself from whence the name came. It is actually a skinny strip of land at the end of San Francisco’s spectacular Golden Gate Park, like a handle on a skillet or big pan. But with so many down and out, there is a good bit of panhandling, the verb- asking for money. In fact, it sometimes seems overwhelming, especially when on any given day, I might be hit up over a dozen times.  I noticed that after 9/11, it became especially grim, as there was a scary economic downturn that accompanied all the other chaos. 

 I developed a system of my own and I always kept change in the little pocket of my driver’s side door handle to be ready for when I was driving.  Here is my system and I just did it today: moms with kids, children, and amputee’s, anyone who really seems to me to need help now.  If I am driving an author around on tour or out-of-town visitors, they have, on occasion, been startled when I mutter,” Oh, an amputee; let me see what I have on me. “ I explain my seeming rudeness by saying this is my personalized system and that I was almost an amputee when I was hit and run by a drunk driver a few years back and managed to talk my doctor out of that idea.  I had to learn to walk again and it took a looong time and a lot of pain. So, I always think, “that could have been me” and I want to help.   Many a vet who served their country came back without a limb and even fewer options.  This really is the least I can do and wanting to do more is one of the reasons behind this book

Optimism trumps pessimism every time

Those who are closest to me know that I have been through a rough patch in the last year. The highs were high and the lows were, well, way down there. I can see a glimmer of sunlight at the end of this tunnel and I want to share a wee bit of the wisdom that helped me along the way:

This is your life, only you can truly control your choices, and choosing happiness is the best way to achieve being a good to yourself as well as the world. Here are some suggestions for how you can ensure simple joy in your life:

·  Be the best you can be by your own standards

·  Surround yourself with people who inspire you and make you feel good

·  Focus on what you have, not what you lack

·  Optimism trumps pessimism every time!

·  Smile often and genuinely

·  Be honest, to yourself and to others

·  Help others

·  Embrace your past, live in the present, and look forward for what is yet to come

The gift of yourself

When I lived in the Lower Height district of San Francisco, I drove for an AIDS food bank in the little rusted-out  car I had driven across the country from West Virginia. I had arrived in the mid-eighties, which we may all remember as the height of the AIDS crisis. My best friend delivered meals to patients in their homes and also hauled groceries donated to the food bank by the Church Street Tunnel. One early morning, I was walking to the Market and Church Street MUNI station and there it was with giant pink letters announcing itself as a place to lend a hand for the AIDS cause. I went in and within two minutes had a shift and assignments for the week.  Plus everyone in there seemed extremely cool to me and they were not grim at all but seemed to have a mission of importance.  It seemed such a small way to help during that scary time but I also learned that whatever you can give, large or small, it is important to give of yourself. And it all does add up. Feeding America is the LARGEST hunger relief organization the United States and they need YOU. Please visit www.feedingamerica.org to find your local food bank or hunger organization. Get involved and you’ll make a difference and you’ll make friends along the way. I sure did and they remain my friends to this day.

And while you are at it, please check out this giveaway at: a Rafflecopter giveaway

Throwing Shade: Trees are Good for Us

Encourage community management of forests. If there are common property lands nearby that are degraded, work with local communities and environmental NGOs to establish sustainable community forestry that benefits everyone.  Get involved at www.treesforthefuture.org and meet your fellow tree huggers!

By the way- happy first day of spring! 

Helping Those Who Helps Themselves

Empower an entrepreneur with a loan through Kiva. You can give as little at $25 dollars to entrepreneurs in developing countries to help eliminate poverty. Throughout the life of the loan, you will receive updates on the progress of the project and will be repaid by the borrower with Kiva Credit—which you can use to fund another project or withdraw. http://www.kiva.org/ I have bought some really lovely pillows baskets and bangle bracelets made in India by women whose creativity was sent soaring by Kiva!