Ask for help (and give help when asked)

 Happiness, as the old adage goes, is an inside job.

 The “inner work” of happiness is that of thinking about how you live your life and how your thinking is foundational. We all know that  where we were born, to whom we were born, and the circumstances greatly influence who we are at the beginning of our lives but this is not the whole story. By applying oneself at school, at work, in LIFE. doors can open in any circumstance. Who you are is who you THINK you are. If you believe you are a person with potential, your potential will unfold. Many of us receive what I call “negative programming” when we are young and impressionable, but this can’t become the determining factor. Erase those old tapes and write your own program! Easier said than done, I know, but self-belief is the key. If it is writing affirmations and putting them on the fridge at home, then do it. If it is working with a life coach, try it. Perhaps an analytical approach or process mapping your life and your goals will work best.. Maybe for you, it would entail a retreat at Esalen learning yoga and deepest meditation.

 Or it could be simple, doable steps like getting up earlier in the day and trying one new thing a day. If, like many of us, the least expensive option is best, start a “success circle” like my friend Duncan did. Duncan is a brilliant filmmaker, writer, and musician but grew up in impoverished and unfortunate circumstances with a panicky single mother who wanted to dictate Duncan’s life every step of the way She even went so far as to have him institutionalized when he defied her. It would have been easy for him to either stay in the struggle or, at the very least, become a bitter and negative person. Instead, he chose to go to film school as quickly as possible and move to LA to make movies. Breaking into the “business” in LA is not easy when you have no connections so Duncan established himself- rentted an apartment and worked  a day job while he sought his break. Then Duncan had a great idea, to create a “success circle,” and invited some friends to his home to talk about what each person wanted in life and dreamed of doing. They discussed what would bring them happiness and right livelihood, shared hopes and aspirations. By the end of the first circle, they has all come up with goals and created outlines and ways to attain these dreams. They made it up as they went along but the success circle was a great success, each member going on to great things.

 As for Duncan, he has made two films, found true love, and great happiness.

What kind of happiness are you seeking? Maybe you don’t know yet – or thought you did but now you are not so sure. Maybe you are on the right track but just need a gentle nudge in a new direction. In our own lives, happiness can feel transitory and elusive. We can get overwhelmed by business and commit the cardinal “happiness eradicator” of comparing ourselves to others. Thinking about what you lack is the shortest path to misery that I know of. Instead do a “reframe” and think about what you HAVE, gifts, talents, positive people in your life, a great garden, all the great good things in your life.

Better already, right?

I was never prom queen but this I'll take!

My few years here at Cleis have flown by, always a sign you are having fun. I vividly remember getting my job the day before the stock market crashed in fall of 2008 and the recession began. I was worried my time at Cleis would be all-too brief. But, founders Felice Newman and Frederiqué Delacoste were unfazed having bootstrapped their way through two bankrupt distributors and countless banned books. Instead, we "doubled down" October 2008 and launched VIVA, expanded Cleis and I was encouraged for the first time to boldly pursue my publishing passion. For me, it is not enough to just chase dollars and treat books like "product." That, in fact, offends me. Inspired by a graduate course taught by KQED's Michael Krasny, I wrote "Women of the Beat Generation" to give voice to writers who had been kept in the shadows, ignored and overlooked. This same purpose drives me at Cleis Press & Viva Editions, as evidenced by the #OutWriters project. I go to a lot of our author events and it isn't to fill a seat or out of obligation. It is for me. Because I am moved when gay teens come to author events and tell our authors Jon Ginoli and Bob Mould that their music and writing saved their lives. Because Rachel Pepper's Transitions of the Heart reminds us to accept and love all our children. And that cancer survivor Mark Nepo's words on the page have helped thousands of others survive and thrive. I am gobsmacked, honored and humbled to be named Indie Fab Publisher of the Year. But mostly, I am encouraged to keep at it. Because there are many more voices we need to hear.

Random acts. very

You know how sometimes certain memories remain crystal clear as though they are trapped in the amber of your consciousness? While I don't know nearly enough about how the brain works, I suspect that means these shards of memory that stay with us are some of the most important events of our lives to be pondered and reconsidered for all that they contain. They might be "teachable moments" for us to draw upon. While the neuroscience aspects of aspic elude me, I do know this memory is a life lesson:

My besties and I like to have a cup of tea now and again and occasionally the fancy kind with teacakes,   cupcakes, cookies that are almost too beautiful to eat. During my decade in The Lower Haight, my dear friends got together once a month, taking turns at each other's houses. I was excited to be hosting one lovely late spring day and planned everything to the tee- lemon bars with lime icing, mini-cupcakes with icing that looked like lace and my favorite black and white cookies, chocolate on one side and vanilla on the other. I even had brightly colored paper napkins with sassy wild women quotes on them.

I was working in Berkeley and living in San Francisco which meant that just getting across the Bay Bridge was going to be a an adventure. On this day, it was going to be a miracle. I was terrified my friends would be standing at the front door, stamping their nicely shod feet, waiting for me as I navigated the traffic. I surrendered to it, knowing my anxiety would not change a thing. Plus, I had my secret weapon- the nicest array of confections ever. How could they be mad at me when there were being served stunningly beautiful sugar cookies on napkins that reminded them they are fabulous?

Finally, my lane of traffic oozed off the Fremont exit into Downtown San Francisco. I was going to bust one of my special moves and drive down a one way arterial and avoid the clogged streets. To do that, I had to drive past the TransBay Terminal, one of the most desolate and derelict spots in all of the greater Bay Area. I was chugging along and feeling good about my bag of goodies and was stopped again by a Muni bus that appeared to be lumbering along at maybe 3 miles per hour. But I still had my special treats and my confidence remained intact.

I looked to my left and a mother and her toddler were standing on the raised median not two feet away from my car. She looked to be not much older than a teenager herself and had a big bruise on her cheek and a frightened look. Her little boy was hugging her knee, trying to stay warm in the arctic wind that blasts downtown SF as soon as the sun sets. I smiled at them and she smiled back and I saw she was missing at least one tooth. In this moment, I just knew she has run away from an abusive home and was getting herself and her son to safety. I also knew in that moment that they needed money and I scrabbled around in my messy purse but could only find a five dollar bill as I had spent all my cash on the sweets. I grabbed the pretty paper bag filled with boxes of delicacies and shoved it into her hands along with the wadded up bill.  The look on her face was what will stay with me a lifetime, she was surprised and the stress drained out of her face and I could see how pretty she was. The bus shot foreword and I had to drive away but I managed to shout back at her "These are the best cookies in the world so everything is going to be ok!" I looked in the rearview mirror and saw her bend down and open a box and lovingly feed her little boy one of my treasured black and whites. They were laughing and her son was even kind of dancing around. My heart lifted as I drove away.  I was especially pleased that this young women was going to be reminded about her fabulousness by sassy paper napkins.

My girlfriends and I ate microwaved popcorn that night by nobody minded. We also ended up having a much deeper and richer discussion about real things, no shop or shopping talk, no boyfriend problems. We talked about how lucky we were and ways we could give back to the world.

It is funny how I  knew those cookies were going to save the night. I guess I just didn't know whose.

The power of the human heart

When I was working on the Random Acts of Kindness campaign, it was an incredibly joy-filled work experience. I usually do love what I do but this took it to a whole new level. My work was not just about helping my company or paying my rent for the month, it suddenly really meaning something. We were making the world a better place, one act of kindness at a time. There was literally an electricity in the air and we arrived at work each day to see what miracles had happened overnight while we were sleeping.

I remember the first day we knew everything had really changed - we found out through the US mail. Usually we only had a dozen or so pieces of mail, bills mostly and a few queries, letters from readers or an order or two. One day, the mailman knocked and said, "I need help here." He had BAGS of letters from people all over the country and a TON of ones with suggestions of acts of kindness. There were laughter and tears as we sat down on the floor and tore open the envelopes reading aloud from the letters. Some were in children's big blocky letters (these usually had the best ideas of kindness) and others in elder's careful script. I treasure that memory as I saw the power of the human heart that day.

The most optimistic man in America:

David Mezzapelle will share inspiring from his new book Contagious Optimism with a broad tour of California.

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David Mezzapelle, author of Contagious Optimism

Reading Contagious Optimism will allow you to appreciate and understand the principles that people of all races, religions, and socioeconomic backgrounds live by and have exhibited during their life's adventures.

—Daniel P. Tully

(PRWEB) September 11, 2013

David Mezzapelle will tour the Bay Area and Los Angeles from September 19th to 25th, sharing inspirational stories from his newly-released bookContagious Optimism: Uplifting Stories and Motivational Advice for Positive Forward Thinking, which is newly available on Audible.

Contagious Optimism is a collection of personal success stories and advice that discusses the power of positive thinking. Mezzapelle urges readers to find the silver lining in every cloud despite trials such as personal hardship, economic downturns, and political uncertainties. Developed by the same team that wrote the bestselling Random Acts of Kindness, Contagious Optimism is written to lift hearts, open minds, and create a movement of pass-it-on hope and happiness.

Jupiter Life featured an article on David and Contagious Optimism, exploring the inspiration behind the book and giving tidbits from the inspirational stories of contributors like Mona Tippins.

Join David on his tour at these events in Northern and Southern California:

9/19 7pm, Books Inc., Alameda, CA
9/21 1-3pm, Agape Quiet Mind Bookstore, Culver City, CA
9/25 7am, The Inside Edge, Irvine, CA
9/25 4-5:30pm, Mystic Journey Bookstore, Venice, CA
9/25 7pm, Barnes and Noble 3rd St. Promenade, Santa Monica, CA

What people are saying about Contagious Optimism:

"Contagious Optimism is an inspiring invitation to change your life through a change of perspective. Mezzapelle's collection of stories and various viewpoints spurs our imagination of what's possible to create a happy and successful life. A highly persuasive book I full-heartedly recommend."
—Andrea F. Polard, PsyD

"Learn how you can experience true happiness and fulfillment despite life's greatest challenges as you read the stories of those who have chosen to see that glass half -full."
—Chloe JonPaul, author of This Business of Children

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Creating your path to inner peace:

Maggie Oman Shannon Champions the Importance of Creating  in a Busy and Often Chaotic World:

The author of Crafting Calm and interfaith minister shares her philosophical take on beauty.

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Maggie Oman Shannon, author of Crafting Calm

Ultimately, connecting to our creativity can help us connect to our spirituality. In other words, crafting can become a spiritual practice."

— Psych Central

(PRWEB) June 11, 2013

Interfaith minister Maggie Oman Shannon claims that cultivating and noticing beauty is far from frivolous. In her new book Crafting Calm, she relates personal stories and step-by-step how-to's on DIY projects that help people get in touch with their spiritual side. As she explains on Inspire Me Today, "There is always something lovely to be found, always; and the search for it or deliberate creation of it is never frivolous. John Keats was right: Beauty is Truth, Truth Beauty." When most of the world is determined to shut down creativity in favor of being "realistic" or practical, Maggie Oman Shannon's is one of the lone voices encouraging people to put busyness on pause and focus on small, simple moments of peace and beauty.

Oman Shannon has also recently appeared on the the popular podcast Tranquility du Jour with Kimberly Wilson. The two experts discuss how to make time for crafting in the midst of a busy schedule, and talk about the importance of finding a few moments for peace. As a mother with a jam-packed schedule herself, Oman Shannon knows from experience how hard scheduling time for calmness can be. But, as she so boldly states, the active and mindful focus on beauty is a "political statement" and a "spiritual practice," and the inner peace it can bring is well worth the effort.

Rev. Maggie Oman Shannon, M.A., is an interfaith minister, spiritual director, workshop and retreat facilitator, and author of five books, including Prayers for Healing and A String and a Prayer: How to Make and Use Prayer Beads. In 2000, Maggie Oman Shannon founded The New Story, a coaching and consulting business focused on helping people create deeper meaning in their lives. Shannon currently has the honor of serving as Spiritual Director of Unity Spiritual Center of San Francisco. She lives in San Francisco with her husband and nine-year-old daughter.

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A proud publishing moment for Viva Editions:

Kaufman Shares his Inspiring Story of Triumph Over Alcoholism and Trauma

Award-winning literary star Alan Kaufman celebrates the release of "Drunken Angel" in paperback with special appearances.

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Drunken Angel by Alan Kaufman

"[An] addictive memoir of self-destruction, recuperation and a literary coming-of-age."

—Kirkus Reviews

(PRWEB) April 03, 2013

Son of a French Holocaust survivor, Kaufman drank to fill the huge hole in his heart, wrecking himself and everyone in his path. His memoir Drunken Angel recounts with raw power and naked candor his descent into the hell of alcoholism while struggling to cope with his traumatic past. Alan Kaufman will share his story at the Jewish Community Center in Palo Alto on April 15th (see below for details). For those who cannot attend this special event in person, Kaufman will also be sharing his message on April 6 on KGO AM 810, from 8:05-8:30pm.

Alan Kaufman Bay Area Events:
April 15 7:30pm In Conversation at the Albert L Schultz Jewish Community Center, Palo Alto
April 11 7:30pm Books Inc., Opera Plaza, San Francisco
April 17 5:30-7:30pm "Spring into Recovery" at the Henry Ohlhoff Recovery Center, 201 Mission Street, SF

In his memoir, Drunken Angel, Alan Kaufman recounts his experiences as the son of a French-Jewish Holocaust survivor, probing the consciousness of an addict to expose the true horror of alcoholism. In no other book do addiction, PTSD and The Holocaust cross paths and combine to produce profound new questions, vistas, and insights into the seemingly intractable malaise that haunts contemporary life. This ultimately uplifting narrative of loss, addiction and redemption is one of the first memoirs by a Second Generation Holocaust writer to address how alcoholism, his Jewish lineage and the Holocaust intersect, raising haunting new questions about how deeply both the Holocaust and addiction lie at the very nexus of our contemporary world.

A literary star and award-winning author, Kaufman is the editor of such critically acclaimed books as Jew Boy (now being made into a motion picture), The Outlaw Bible of American Poetry, Matches, The Outlaw Bible of American Literature, publisher of the short-lived but zeitgeist-changing iconoclastic Jewish underground mag Davka: Jewish Cultural Revolution, and founder and acting dean of The Free University of San Francisco. His books and activism have earned the praise of everyone from David Mamet and Dave Eggars to The New York Times, The San Francisco Chronicle, Publisher’s Weekly and The Los Angeles Times. His literary works are considered classics of their kind.

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