Saturday, April 14, 2018

Pass on the Wisdom of Grandmothers to Children Today


Rich, my beloved, was raised by his grandmother, whom he titled GM. She had been the wife of the head of the village and clan in Southern China until the Japanese Occupation when war devastated the community at a great cost of many lives.  She felt very “fook sing” (lucky) to have made it to America with her only son and they rebuilt their lives from scratch. She ran a Chinese laundry, which I have no doubt was the finest in all of Flushing, Queens, and while working and taking care of her grandchildren, she told stories of the homeland, including the hardest times of having to eat insects and anything they could during drought and war, famine and pestilence. She relayed all this with no bitterness, only a sense of great good fortune in getting to live in the land of plenty in America. Day by day, story-by-story, she instilled values of excellence- gratitude, hard work, keeping a positive attitude no matter what. GM’s actions also demonstrated this to her young charges. As a very petite older Chinese woman who spoke NO English, she faced prejudice but never let it faze her or embitter her.

 When Rich and his younger brother Jimmy went to public school in Queens, they made lots of friends in that melting pot metropolis including a young African American adolescent boy who was really tall for his age and came from a family that had a hard time putting enough food on the table.  One day, he came home after school with the grandsons. It took GM about two seconds to assess the situation and she told them to bring him by everyday and he could eat with the family and she made extra for their new fast-growing buddy. Having faced severe hunger during the war, GM was not going to let anybody in her circle go hungry. Every day in ways large and small, she showed her family how to do the right thing- stand on the bus so others can sit, be polite even if others are rude and, above all, “take care of your clan.”


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