Friends Are Not Just for Facebook

My newer pals are always kind of amazed that I have such a large group of friends, especially from back home in West Virginia. I attribute that to a few things: many of us come from Irish and Scottish stock, so we tend to be a wee bit clannish. We also check in on each other and get together quite regularly. There are the occasional squabbles but when trouble comes knocking, we have each other’s backs all the way. It’s a beautiful thing. When somebody moves, we are there to pack and tape up boxes. When somebody is sick, we are there with homemade soup and a listening ear. To me, friendship is one of the most important things in the world and it is not just a phenomenon that takes place on social media.

200 Squares a Day

Do you know how much an elephant needs to eat each day? At least 200 pounds of chow! Spring for $30 and you can feed a retired elephant all day long. Many of the denizens of the Elephant Sanctuary in Tennessee are former showgirls who left the three-ring circus behind them. Check out elephants.com for more details.

Wild in the Streets

I live in a nice town adjacent to Berkeley, California, that is very urban, but I have a big ol’ backyard, which I love-it is the reason I live here. I have racoons, a family of squirrels, and a pair of deer who seem to love the yard as much as I do. One of the older trees bears a huge amount of apples every fall, much more than my boyfriend and I can cook or eat, not to mention our friends, coworkers, and deer and squirrels. So we bag up the extra apples and take them to a place where deer congregate at the edge of the woods a few blocks away. Every time I deliver a new bag, I see lots of deer tracks, showing that my four-legged friends enjoy their apple a day. So before you just compost the extra bounty of your garden or fruit trees, take a look around and see who else might appreciate a neighborly gesture.

Listening Is an Act of Love

We don’t always have to donate time and energy to other parts of the world. Sometimes help is needed much closer to home.  Is a parent, sibling, spouse, or friend having a difficult time? Help lift their spirits by letting them experience that loving feeling. Invite them to coffee or to dinner, surprise them with a simple gift, or take them somewhere they like. Lean forward and listen closely. Just listen.

Have Mercy

Donate a gift through Mercy Corps. It’s as simple as this: choose a gift on their website. The recipient gets a card that explains the gift and donation made in their name, and your gift helps families in need. Visit gifts.mercycorps.org to view the gift selection, ranging from clean water to a goat. You can choose to remain anonymous or you can personalize with a friendly note to a family on another part of the globe. It’s really nice to see how your gift is of benefit and people have developed long-distance friendships through this kindly organization. Often, the daily headlines are reflected by the regions presented. Currently, families affected by Ebola need all the help we can give them.

Foster a Four-Legger

If you are a parent of young children, you probably hear a steady chorus of requests for a dog. You can find out if dog ownership is right for your family by checking out guidedogs.com and applying to raise a puppy for the blind. What a wonderful way to experiment and do good! This is an excellent demonstration of responsible behaviour that will doubtless leave a lasting imprint upon your children.

Give Away Your Old Stuff

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: we all have too much stuff. Do a favor for people in need and give away some of the things you no longer use or wear. Others would be happy to have them and you will simplify your life and enjoy your time more. Find a few locations that you can drop off your stuff or call an organization that collects goods to redistribute to those in need. There are Goodwills and Salvation Army centers in every town, large or small, so you can donate to help others. 

Uncommon Courtesy

Make a point of smiling at everyone you encounter and cross paths with today. Such a simple thing can mean an awful lot.

Cook It Forward

If you love to cook and love to help people, this might be the option for you: teach cooking classes or offer your services as a free guide to getting the healthiest groceries at the best prices via Cooking Matters, a division of Share Our Strength. What I love about this is that it is both personal and oh-so-practical. CookingMatters.org pairs you up with a local group. You can bake up a lot of love while showing others how to do the same.

What the World Needs Now

Tell someone close to you how much you love them, even if you’re sure they already know.

Love Lifts You Up

If you have frequent flier miles you are not planning to use, give them to service members who have been injured in the line of duty and need to be flown to proper medical treatment. This can also enable family members to visit them. Check out fisherhouse.org to discover all you need to know about Fisher House Foundation’s Hero Miles Program. Love has an enormous power to heal, so sharing your unused miles stretches your love a mighty long way!

Lend an Ear

Counselors can contribute enormously to our troops when they return from their service term. Inhonestly think my ex-Marine dad had PTSD. Post-traumatic stress was not even acknowledged until long after the Vietnam War, and only through the hard work of many activists. Therapists and mental health professionals can really help our military veterans by volunteering their own services through the organization Give an Hour (giveanhour.org) and this is extremely helpful to families of vets. Listening can change lives for the better in a big way. 

Look Up!

Put down your smartphone and make eye contact, person to person. Nowadays, I consider that a major act of kindness and courtesy, as well.

Emit Good Vibes

Take stock of your day-to-day life. Are you giving to others or is there an imbalance? Do your work and your immediate family get 99% of what you offer the world? You can change that in one day. Donate more of your time or money to a charity. Supporting a cause will help keep you informed about social issues and can strengthen your sense of well being, while benefiting others in the process. Additionally, monetary donations are tax deductible, which is really just a bonus: the real reward is not just on April 15 but comes the other 364 days of the year.

Veg Out

Have you heard of “food desserts”? I certainly never did until reading last year in The New York Times about entire swaths of urban areas with nothing but corner stores filled with processed, packaged foods and no produce whatsoever. I started paying attention and it is true. There is something you can do about it. By making a donation to WholesomeWave.org, they will provide fresh fruits and veggies to those underserved communities. How great is that? Actually, it is even better,as Wholesome Wave obtains their organic produce from small and mid-sized farmers.

Be a Good on Your Own Block

Make a list of small things you can do around your house and place of work to conserve energy and water, stop waste, and increase the recycling. Then start doing them!

Operation Gratitude

I learned about this from my mom, whose church regularly sends cards, letters, and care packages overseas to the armed forces. My mom and her fellow church ladies bake some of the best cookies in the world, so they gather up all kinds of goodies and treats and send them overseas where the taste of down home surely brings many smiles of satisfaction. Those who are less gifted in the baking department (such as me!) can make a $15 donation to Operation Gratitude, which pays for one care package for one serviceperson. Operation Gratitude  (operationgratitude.com) has sent over a million of these kindness kits around the world!

Do YOU

This is your life! Only you can truly control your choices. Choosing happiness is the best way to achieve being good to yourself as well as the world. Here are some suggestions for how you can ensure simple joy in your life:

    *Be the best you can be by your own standards

    *Surround yourself with people who inspire you and make you feel good

    *Focus on what you have,not what you lack

    *Optimism trumps pessimism every time!

    *Smile often and genuinely

    *Be honest, to yourself and others

    *Help others

    *Embrace your past, live in the present, and look forward for what is yet to come 

Earn an Advanced Degree in Giving

I count myself very lucky indeed to know the world’s only Jollytologist, Allen Klein. The story of how he came to have this distinction astounds me. Ever hear of a “Jollytologist”? Well,meet Allen Klein. Through his books and presentations, Klein shows people worldwide how to deal with everything from traffic jams to corporate culture. Klein got into this unusual line of work after his wife died of a rare liver disease at the age of 34 when he saw how humor helped her, and those around her,to cope. He now teaches others how to find humor in trying times. His audiences include people in 48 American states as well as Israel and Australia,and clients from IBM to the IRS. Comedian Jerry Lewis has said that Allen Klein is “a noble and vital force watching over the human condition.”I agree with Jerry Lewis and would add that Allen Klein makes the world a better place, every day!

Just Say Hello!

Try something new this year and check out the Just Say Hello campaign on Oprah’s website. The campaign (find it at oprah.com/health/Just-Say-Hello-How-to-Participate) encourages kindness and strives to combat loneliness by reading and connecting. A howdy-do to a stranger might make your day and a new pal in the process. I read about this excellent friendliness project in Oprah’s O Magazine a few Sundays ago and immediately felt inspired to try it that day. My boyfriend and I went to do our weekend chores, which include buying fresh flowers from our neighborhood stand. An older gentleman was standing there smelling the roses, always a good idea in my mind. I remembered to say “Hi” as instructed by Oprah and he responded with a big smile and asked for my input on flowers for a lady friend. As you might imagine, quite a conversation ensued, and my boyfriend, who is even friendlier than I am, joined in. Soon the florist was involved and our new gentleman friend turned out to be a fascinating conversationalist. He had been a fighter pilot in the Korean War, very highly decorated, and had traveled all over the world before returning home to El Cerrito. Widowed some years back, he was only beginning to get back out there and date. After landing upon a carefully selected bouquet of red roses and pink lilies, he headed off to the dance at the senior center. I noticed he had a good bit of pep in his step and I remember having a good feeling about his first date. We kept our eyes peeled for Colonel Jarvis when in the vicinity of the flower shop, and sure enough, the next time we saw him he had pictures of his lady friend from the dance featuring a corsage he had gotten for her. Things were looking pretty swell all around and he looked pleased as punch.

So, thanks, Oprah, for another great idea!