Friends Are Not Just for Facebook

    My newer pals are always kind of amazed that I have such a large group of friends, especially from back home in West Virginia. I attribute that to a few thing: many of us come from Irish and Scottish stock, so we tend to be a wee bit clannish. We also check in on each other and get together quite regularly. There are the occasional squabbles but when trouble comes knocking, we have each other's backs all the way. It's a beautiful thing. When somebody moves, we are there to pack up and tape up boxes. when somebody is sick, we are there with homemade soup and a listening ear. To me, friendship is one of the most important things in the world and it is not just a phenomenon that takes place on social media.

200 Squares a Day

     Do you know how much an elephant needs to eat each day? At least 200 pounds of chow! Spring for $30 and you can feed a retired elephant all day long. Many of the denizens of the Elephant Sanctuary in Tennessee are former showgirls who left the three-ring circus behind them. Check out elephants.com for more details.

Wild in the Streets

     I live in a nice town adjacent to Berkeley, California, that is very urban, but I have a big o' backyard, which I love- it is the reason I live here. I have raccoons, a family of squirrels, and a pair of deer who seem to love the yard as much as I do. One of the older trees bears a huge amount of apples every fall, much more than my boyfriend and I can cook or eat, not to mention our friends, coworkers, and deer and squirrels. So we bag up the extra apples and take them to a place where deer congregate at the edge of the woods a few blocks away. Every time I deliver a new bag, I see lots of deer tracks, showing that my four-legged friends enjoy their apple a day. So before you just compost the extra bounty of your garden or fruit trees, take a look around and see what else might appreciate a neighborly gesture.

Warm and Fuzzies

    Maybe you want to cozy up with your newly adopted loved one- the World Wild Fund has a stuffed representation of every imaginable animal, bird, fish, or beyond. For a mere $55 donation on wildlife.org, you get an adoption certificate, a gift bag, and the long-distance love of a beastie! You can also get a photo of your new baby to show off to the relatives at holidays (what grandparent could resist a three-toed sloth, smiley orca, or scaled anteater in the family, really?)

Take a Walk on the Wild Side

     You know you want to adopt a wild animal, don't you? Oceana's Adopt an Animal program allows you to befriend (from a distance) a whale, manatee, puffin, sea turtle, or any number of beautiful sea creatures. Swim on over to oceana.org and bask in the richness dwelling within Earth's oceans.

Listening Is an Act of Love

     We don't always have to donate time and energy to other parts of the world. Sometimes help is needed much closer to home. Is a parent, sibling, spouse, or friend having a difficult time? Help them lift their spirits by letting them experience that loving feeling. Come home with takeout for the two of you, surprise them with a simple gift, or go on a drive together. Lean forward and listen closely. Just listen.

Have Mercy

 Donate a gift through Mercy Corps. It's as simple as this: choose a gift on their website. The recipient gets a card that explains the gift and donation made in their name, and your gift helps families in need. Visit gifts.mercycorps.org to view the gift selection, ranging from clean water to a goat. You can choose to remain anonymous or you can personalize with a friendly note to a family on another part of the globe. It's really nice to see how your gift is of benefit and people have developed long-distance friendships through this kindly organization. Often, the daily headlines are reflected by the regions presented. Currently, families affected by Ebola and coronavirus need all the help we can give. 

Foster a Four-Legger

     If you are a parent of young children, you probably hear a steady chorus of requests for a dog. You can find out if dog ownership is right for your family by checking out guide dogs.com and applying to raise a puppy for the blind. What a wonderful way to experiment and do good! This is an excellent demonstration of responsible behavior that will doubtless leave a lasting imprint upon your children.

Give Away Your Old Stuff

    I've said it before and I'll say it again: we all have too much stuff. Do a favor for people in need and give away some of the things you no longer use or wear. Others would be happy to have them and you will simplify your life and enjoy your time more. Find a few locations that you can drop off your stuff or call an organization that collects good to redistribute to those in need. There are Goodwills and Salvation Army centers in every town, large or small, so you can donate to help others.

Only Connect

     Be a mentor to someone. Everyone needs help to achieve their dreams and goals in life. Mentorship is an excellent way of providing needed help, encouragement, and guidance. Look for opportunities to mentor people at virtuefirst.org/virtues/service.

Share Your Skills

     Teach someone a craft or skill you are good at. Sharing your talent with someone else may allow them to discover their own potential. Whether it's cooking, archery, or photography, spend some time doing what you love with another. Teaching people how to do something new will help you maintain your interest and establish a connection with the person you are with. No doubt you will learn just as much from being a teacher.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day of Service

Life's most persistent and urgent question is, "What are you doing for others?"

        -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

    Thanks to Selma, a new generation of moviegoers is learning about the man who fought civil rights, justice, and dignity for African Americans. Along with Bayard Rustin, John Lewis, and other activists, Dr. King appealed to the best within us all. Find a project in your community or register your own project through mlkday.gov. Many presidents share a legal holiday in February, but courageous Dr. King gets his own day.

Uncommon Courtesy

     Right now, it can be hard to smile with a mask on but you can smile with your eyes and your manner. Supermodel and tv host calls it "smizing."

Cook It Forward

     If you love to cook and love to help people, this might be the option for you: teach cooking classes or offer your services as a free guide to getting the healthiest groceries at the best prices via Cooking Matters, a division of Share Our Strength. What I love about this is that it is both personal and oh-so-practical. CookingMatters.org pairs you up with a local group. You can bake a lot of love while showing others how to do the same.

What The World Needs Now

     Tell someone close to you how much you love them, even if you're sure they already know.

Love Lifts You Up

     If you have a frequent flier miles you are not planning to use because of the pandemic, give them to service members who have been injured in the line of duty and need to be flown to proper medical treatment. This can also enable family members to visit them as soon as it's okay to fly again. Check out fisherhouse.org to discover all you need to know about Fisher House Foundation's Hero Miles Program. Love has an enormous power to heal, so sharing your unused miles stretches your love a mighty long way!

Lend an Ear

     Counselors can contribute enormously to our troops when they return from their service term. I honestly think my ex-Marine dad had PTSD. Post-traumatic stress was not even acknowledged until long after the Vietnam War, and only through the hard work of many activists. Therapists and mental health professionals can really help our military veterans by volunteering their own services through the organization Give an Hour (givenahour.com) and this is extremely helpful to families of vets. Listening can change lives for the better in a big way.

Karma on Wheels

     Slow down and let other drivers merge and go ahead of you. Allow every pedestrian to amble across the street, the slower the better. Is that extra five minutes of driving time going to ruin your life? No, but being a patient, safe, and nice driver will make the ride all the more pleasant and will send a ray of goodness in your wake.

Look Up!

     Put down your smartphone and make eye contact, person to person. Nowadays, I consider that a major act of kindness and courtesy, as well.

Emit Good Vibes

    Take stock of your day-to-day life. Are you giving to others or is there an imbalance? Do you work and your immediate family get 99% of what you offer the world? You can that in one day. Donate more of your time or money to a charity. Supporting a cause will help keep you informed about social issues and can strengthen your sense of well being, while benefiting others in the process. Additionally, monetary donations are tax deductible, which is really just a bonus: the real reward is not just on April 15 but comes the other 364 days of the year.

National Human Trafficking Awareness Day

    
    Support Love146, an organization that provides holistic care to children who have survived exploitation, enforced labor, abuse, and even slavery. Join a task force, fundraise for abolition, spread the word, or donate to this cause at love146.org.

Veg Out

    Have you heard of "food desserts"? I certainly never did until reading last year in The New York Times about entire swaths of urban areas with nothing but corner stores filled with processed, packaged foods and no produce whatsoever. I started paying attention and it is true. There is something you can do about it. By making a donation to WholesomeWave.org, they will provide fresh fruits and veggies to those undeserved communities. How great is that? Actually, it is even better, as Wholesome Wave obtains their organic produce from small and mid-sized farmers.

Be a Good on Your Own Block

     Make a list of small things you can do around your house and place of work to conserve energy and water, stop waste, and increase recycling. Then start doing them!

Operation Gratitude

    I learned about this from my mom, whose church regularly sends cards, letters, and care packages overseas to the armed forces. My mom and her fellow church ladies bake some of the best cookies in the world, so they gathered up all kinds of goodies and treats and send them overseas where the taste of down home surely brings many smiles of satisfaction. Those who are less gifted in the baking department (such as me!) can make a $15 donation to Operation Gratitude, which pays for one care package for one serviceperson. Operation Gratitude (operationgratitude.com) has sent over a million of these kindness kits around the world!

Scatter Joy All Around

     Think about how you can create little moments of happiness for others. Help a friend plant her garden, buy an extra coffee for a coworker, pay the toll for the car beyond you on the bridge, and even take your kids to a movie. All those little things can add up to big joy.

Do YOU!

     This is your life! Only you can truly control your choices. Choosing happiness is the best way to achieve being good to yourself as well as the world. Here are some suggestions for how you can ensure simple joy in your life:

• Be the best you can be by your own standards
• Surround yourself with people who inspire you and make you feel good
• Focus on what you have, not what you lack
• Optimism trumps pessimism every time!
• Smile often and genuinely
• Be honest to yourself and others
• Help others
• Embrace your past, live in the present, and look forward for what is yet to come
  

National Motivation and Inspiration Day

     Think about the things that motivate and inspire you. How can you inspire others? What lifts you up? Who fills you with hope and happiness? Cultivate these qualities in yourself and pay attention to who provides your "day lifters". You may be surprised!

Love and Lattes

    Leave a tip and a little thank-you note in the tip jar at your favorite coffee or ice cream shop. Many of us remember the days when we had to work retail or hospitality whole in high school or college. The staff is working hard, especially during a pandemic, so show your appreciation for your latte and their positive attitude with a dollar or two. I have put in little "good job" notes in the tip jar at my local Peet's Coffee and Tea. I think good work should be acknowledged and people should know they are appreciated (and so should their boss!). I have made lifelong friends at the two Peet's I have frequented and it is nice to see them across the counter every morning. Those relationships all began with four little words: "How are you today?"

Earn an Advanced Degree in Giving

    I count myself very lucky indeed to know the world's only Jollytologist, Allen Klein. The story of how he came to have this distinction astounds me. Ever hear of a "Jollytologist"? Well, meet Allen. Through his books and presentations, Klein shows people worldwide how to deal with everything from traffic jams to corporate culture. Klein got this unusual line of work after his wife died of a rare liver disease at the age of 34 when he saw how humor helped her, and those around her, to cope. He now teaches others how to find humor in trying times. His audience includes people in 48 American states as well as Israel and Australia, and clients from IBM to the IRS. Comedian Jerry Lewis had said that Allen Klein is "a noble and vital force watching over the human condition." I agree with Jerry Lewis and would add that Allen Klein makes the world a better place, every day!

Just Say Hello!

    Try something new this year and check out the Just Say Hello campaign on Oprah's website. The campaign (find it at oprah.com/health/Just-Say-Hello-How-to-Participate) encourages kindness and strives to combat loneliness by reading and connecting. A howdy-do to a stranger might make your day and a new pal in the process.

    I read about this excellent friendliness project in Oprah's O Magazine a few Sundays ago and immediately felt inspired felt inspired to try it that day. My boyfriend and I went to do our weekend chores, which include buying fresh flowers from our neighborhood stand. And older gentleman was standing there smelling the roses, always a good idea in my mind. I remembered to say "Hi" as instructed by Oprah and he responded with a big smile and asked for my input on flowers for a lady friend.

    As you might imagine, quite a conversation ensued, and my boyfriend, who is even friendlier than I am, joined in. Soon the florist was involved and our new gentleman friend turned out to be a fascinating conversationalist. He had been a fighter pilot in the Korean War, very highly decorated, and had traveled all over the world before returning home to El Cerrito. Widowed some years back, he was only beginning to get back out there and date. After landing upon a carefully selected bouquet of red roses and pink lilies, he headed off to the dance at the senior center. I noticed he had a good bit of pep in his step and I remember having a good feeling about his first date.

    We kept our eyes peeled for Colonel Jarvis when in the divinity of the flower shop, and sure enough, the next time we saw him he had pictures of his lady friend from the dance featuring a corsage he had gotten for her. Things were looking pretty swell all around and he looked pleased as punch.

    So, thanks, Oprah, for another great idea!

Resolve to Be a Force for Good in This World

  

    New Year’s Day. Did you make a New Year’s resolution for this year? Throw that word resolution out the window. It’s not strong enough to hold people to their goals—or at least that is true for me and everyone I know! If you want to eat healthier, spend more time with your family, or finally volunteer at your church’s soup kitchen, go ahead and make these things happen. Tell people about your mission and maybe they will join forces with you. I had so much fun at Glide Memorial Church serving lunch that my friends asked to come along with me! Or, if you want to jump-start your New Year’s with a major act of kindness, head on down to LA for the New Year’s Race for A Place Called Home (apch.org). They are a safe haven in South Central Los Angeles where underserved youth are empowered to take ownership of the quality and direction of their lives through programs in education, arts, and well-being. These young people are inspired to make a meaningful difference in their community and world.